Salvation
by EverMineEverThine
Summary: When Sarah Franklin needed him most, Happy saved her. But after their lives have been changed, their hearts have been broken, and their souls are laid bare...will she be able to save him too? (Happy/OC)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone! I missed you!**

 **Sorry this took so long. I took a break after** _ **Call and Answer**_ **to sort of recharge my batteries. And not gonna lie, I was super intimidated to start this story; not only because there are already a million Happy fics out there, but because I know he's basically everyone's favorite character. He's complicated and wonderful and VERY hard to write, and I just wanted to do him justice. So, long story short, it took me a while to get this off the ground, but I've created a story that I'm really falling in love with, and I hope you do too!**

 **P.S. As of today, my Juice story** _ **A Charming Life**_ **has over 400 favorites. I never, ever, ever thought that I would receive such a beautiful response to any of my fics and I just wanted to say how grateful I am to each and every one of you for all the amazing support. Love you guys.**

 **OK, let's do this! I can't wait to hear what you think. Hope you enjoy it and please, please review!**

 ***** _ **Trigger Warning- Attempted Sexual Assault**_

Chapter One

That Friday started out just like any other day in Sarah Franklin's life. When her alarm went off at 7:30 in the morning, she groaned and stretched before slowly dragging herself out of bed. Then she showered and threw on whatever business-casual outfit happened to be hanging in her closet, which today was a simple black pencil skirt paired with a plain white button-down. Once she was dressed, she put on just enough makeup to hide the dark circles around her gray-blue eyes, tied her still damp shoulder length brown hair into a messy bun, and slipped on her ballet flats before heading downstairs for a bowl of cereal. Then, after her daily five minute hunt for her car keys, she walked out of the house and over to her decade old Toyota Corolla, driving out onto the road and towards downtown Bakersfield.

Sarah spent the next eight hours behind her desk at Blakely and Sons Insurance Company; answering phone calls, typing letters, and filing documents, just like she'd done almost every weekday for the last four years. She didn't love being a secretary, but she didn't hate it either. The job was too damn boring to demand that kind of emotional response. She didn't know if her indifference was a good thing or a bad thing, so she just tried not to think about it much. As far as Sarah was concerned, it was just a paycheck.

Since it was a Friday, she joined a few of her coworkers for happy hour at a bar around the corner from the office, where she drank her usual gin and tonic and listened politely while the accountants and insurance salesman with went on and on about their investments, their families, their new cars, or their upcoming vacations. Then, after putting in just enough face time to keep her bosses happy, she walked to the parking garage, climbed back into the Corolla, and headed home.

Usually once Sarah got back to her little three bedroom bungalow, she would change into something comfortable, order a pizza, and watch TV until she fell asleep on the couch. But for some reason, and she had no idea why, that Friday night was different. Because as she sat in the driveway staring up at her house, still seated behind the wheel with the engine idling impatiently beneath her, she just couldn't make herself get out of the car.

Sarah let her forehead fall against the top of the steering wheel while she allowed herself to think about the predicable, monotonous broken record she had permitted her life to turn in to. _God, when did I become this woman? I used to be fun. Legitimately, undeniably fun. But now? I don't even recognize myself._ Suddenly, a restlessness she had never experienced before washed over her, and she knew that nothing short of a bomb going off could get her to go into that house, and sit on that couch, and play out the same tired scene for the hundredth time.

She was anxious. She was uneasy. But more than anything, she was just so fucking bored. _And I just can't do it. Not tonight. I need to do something, anything, different._ _Anything…_ She thought about calling a friend to see if they wanted to go to dinner, or maybe seeing if her sister wanted to go the movies. But instead, Sarah just backed out onto the street and drove a few blocks, stopping at the very first bar she found. Because she didn't really want to see the sister she always talked to or the same friends she always hung out with. She wanted something new, she wanted something unexpected, and she sure as hell wanted another drink.

* * *

Happy knew he should've gone back to Charming that night. There was nothing left for him in Bakersfield. But as he looked around at the boxes that contained all of his mother's most precious belongings, he just couldn't make himself leave. It had been more than three weeks since her funeral, but he still couldn't believe she was really gone.

So instead of riding home and partying with his brothers, he decided to spend one extra night at his mom's house, the house he was raised in, where he could still feel her presence, even if only through his memories.

He spent most of the night packing up her bedroom, trying to figure out which of her things to donate, to keep, or to simply throw away. And after several hours, he determined that her clothing and books were going to the Salvation Army and almost everything else was going in the trash. Only the few nice pieces of jewelry she'd owned, along with the photo albums that he hadn't yet brought himself to look through, were going with him back to Charming. He didn't need a bunch of material shit to remember Teresa Lowman. She was in his heart and always would be.

Sometime after midnight, Happy walked out onto the porch with a fifth of Jack Daniels in his hand. Then he sat down on the front steps and took a deep breath, comforted by the warm breeze that still blew against his skin, even thought it was nearing the end of October. He was used to staying up all hours of the night and wasn't even a little tired, so he planned on spending the next couple of hours there in peaceful darkness, smoking a few Marlboros and getting just drunk enough to relive all the beautiful memories he had of his mom. And maybe, just maybe, he would figure out how to finally say goodbye.

But when Hap reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, he rolled his eyes and silently cursed. _Shit, how do I only have one left?_ He knew he didn't have any in his kutte, which was hanging up inside, or in his saddlebags. And he also knew that one smoke wasn't going to get him through the rest of the night. _Hell, one's not gonna get me though the next ten minutes._ So he just stood back up and sighed when he realized his quiet night under the stars was going to have to wait a while. He opened the front door just wide enough to set his bottle of liquor inside before locking it up tight. Then he stepped off the porch, lit his last cigarette, and took a long, slow drag before heading down the sidewalk to the convenience store a few blocks away.

* * *

Not once in the last four years had Sarah ever gone to one of the bars by her house. She knew she didn't live in the best neighborhood and it wouldn't be the safest thing for a single woman to be out late drinking alone. But after sitting on the same barstool for over three hours now, she was far too drunk to care about the consequences.

She wasn't quite sure how many gin and tonics she'd had, but after draining the most recent one, she slammed the glass back down to the bar and giggled. _Well, Miss Franklin, you've drank all the Tanqueray in Bakersfield. And yes, you're going to have the hangover from hell, and you've spent a ridiculous amount of money, and you broke the seal too early and had to go pee about a hundred times…but you're 33 fucking years old, and you actually went out on a Friday night instead of sitting at home along in your pajamas. Well done._

She smiled to herself for a few more minutes, swaying in her seat to the slow, Spanish love song someone had put on the juke box. Then she raised her bleary eyes to the guy behind the bar. "Can I get one more?"

The bartender just grinned and shook his head. "Sorry, sweetheart. You said 'one more' five drinks ago. I gotta cut you off before your ass hits the floor."

For a second Sarah thought she should be annoyed, but his words only made her smile wider. "You know, this is the first time I've had to be cut off since I was a junior in college! Is it weird that I'm a little proud of myself?"

She stood up from her seat and tried to stand, but quickly reached out to the bar to steady herself. _Ok, I'm either shitfaced or this bar has a spinning floor…_

"Hey, are you ok? Do you need me to call you a cab?"

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, finding her balance, before glancing back up to the bartender and shaking her head. "Nope. I'm good. I swear. I only live a few blocks away. I can walk."

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow and frowned. "Are you sure?"

She just nodded, her head bobbing up and down a few more times than she'd intended. "I'm sure." Then she grabbed her purse and took a few big, deep breaths before making her way unsteadily towards the door.

* * *

When Sarah walked out of the bar and stepped onto the sidewalk, the first thing she did was glance over at her car parked across the street. She knew she was too wasted to even attempt the short drive home, but she was seriously considering crawling into the backseat and sleeping. _No, Sarah Marie Franklin. You know that's not safe. Just nut up and walk home to your big, comfy bed._

So she turned from the bar and did her best not to stumble as she made her way home. But after at least fifteen minutes had passed, she looked around the nearly empty street in confusion. _That's weird. I should have been home by now…I think._ Then she looked up at the street sign she didn't recognize and accepted that she had no idea where the hell she was. _Oh, shit. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere._ As she looked around with hazy, drunken eyes at the unfamiliar houses she also realized that, not only did she not know how to get home from here, she didn't even know how to get back to the bar. _Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck._

She reached into her purse and dug around the bottom until she found her cell, and wasn't even a little surprised to find the battery dead. _Because I'm an idiot and this is my life. Nice job, Drunky McDrunkerson._

Out of ideas, she was about to go up to one of the darkened houses and ask to use a phone when she happened to look down the block and see a small convenience store sign at the end of the corner, still lit up even though it was close to one in the morning. _Oh, thank God. I'll just call a cab from there. And maybe get some Twinkies. Twinkies sound really good right now._

Sarah did her best to walk in a straight line as she made her way to the end of the block. But just as she was making her way past the back of the building, her heart stopped as a voice called out to her from behind the nearby dumpsters.

"Hey, pretty girl. What are you doing out so late all by yourself?"

Sarah gasped and spun around only to see a blond guy, maybe in his early twenties, stalking over in her direction. Ignoring him even as her heart was racing, she took a few more steps forward towards the front entrance of the store. But she didn't get very far before the man ran in front of her on the sidewalk and blocked her way.

"You looking for a good time, baby doll? Cause I got your good time right here." Then he smirked as he reached down and held himself between his legs.

Sarah swallowed the bile in her throat as fear bloomed in her chest, and she tried like hell to make her voice sound stronger than she felt. "Get out of my way." She went to move past the guy, but he just grabbed her arm and pulled her close.

"I don't think so."

When he tightened his grasp on her arm, Sarah reacted on instinct and raised a knee to the guy's groin as hard as she could, while using her free hand to punch the side of his face. And his grip loosened just long enough for her to wrench her arm free and make a run for the convenience store.

But she hadn't even taken three steps before she felt his arms wrapping around her from behind and dragging her back towards the dumpsters.

"No!" She screamed and kicked and scratched with as much force as her drunken body was capable of, but before she even knew what was happening, he had backhanded her across the face, thrown her down to the concrete, and clamped his hand over her mouth.

Then, as he whispered disgusting things in her ear and tried to lift her skirt to her waist, Sarah finally felt tears on her cheeks. But she never stopped fighting or praying for someone to help her. "God, please…please…"

* * *

Hap paid the clerk for his carton of Marlboros and was just walking back outside when he heard it…the unmistakable sound of a woman screaming for help. And within a split second, he dropped the cigarettes and was running.

He rounded the corner to the back of the building and over to the other side of the dumpster where he found some asshole trying to get his pants off with a struggling brunette underneath.

The blond guy seethed through gritted teeth. "Stop moving, you little bitch! I'm gonna…" But no one would ever know what he was about to say next because the next moment, Happy pulled him up by the back of the neck, turned him around, and hit him square across the face; keeping a tight hold on the front of his shirt so that he could land two more lethal punches in quick succession, both of them paired with the sickening sound of shattering bone.

And it was only when the bloodied, unconscious bastard fell to the ground with no hope of ever getting up again that Hap turned his attention to the woman who sat frozen on the pavement, huddled against the side of the dumpster, staring up at him in horror.

 _She's beautiful._ He couldn't help it. He knew it wasn't the time, but that was the first thought that came to his mind. Cast in the dim yellow glow from the single light pole that illuminated the back parking lot, with a cut on her forehead and an ugly, red bruise forming on her pale cheek, blood running down the side of her smooth, slender leg, with tears and fear and pain filling her eyes...even with all that, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

He took a few cautious steps towards her and knelt down, wishing that he knew the right thing to say to stop her from trembling. Then he just whispered. "Hey…hey, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. Are you alright?"

She was shaking so badly, he could hear her teeth chattering as she tried to find her voice and finally spoke. "I…I don't know. I think so." Happy glanced down at the hiked up skirt and dreaded the answer to the question he didn't want to ask. But she followed his gaze and, after quickly pulling down her skirt a few inches, shook her head. "He didn't…You stopped him before he could…"

Then her eyes traveled over to the piece of shit that attacked her, lying motionless just a few feet away. Her voice was so quiet he barely heard her. "Is he dead?"

Hap lifted his hand towards the woman's jaw and, hesitating for just a moment, placed his fingers gently on her cheek and guided her eyes back to his. "He can't hurt you again. That's all that matters."

For a few moments, he was lost in the pretty blue eyes staring up at him; the fear gradually fading and being replaced with something that looked remarkably similar to trust. But then she closed her eyes as a few relieved tears trickled down her face and onto his hand. "Thank you."

He didn't know quite what to say in return, so he just stood there in silence. Then he let a few wordless minutes pass, neither one of them venturing to move. But eventually the woman wiped the tears from her eyes and, with Happy's help, tried to stand.

She was unsteady, and Hap hoped it was more from the liquor he smelled on her breath than the blow to her head. He kept a soft hold on the bottom of her elbows as her hands wrapped around his biceps, supporting her while she took a few deep breaths and got her bearings. And only then, when her quiet cries had subsided and she could stand up straight, did she meet his eyes once more. "I'm Sarah."

No one but his mom had ever looked at him the way Sarah was looking at him in that moment. Like he was good, like he was safe…like she needed him more than she'd ever needed anything. So when he opened his mouth to speak, Happy stunned himself by saying the name that his mother had given him, the name he never used, the name he'd believed no one would ever call him, ever again…his real name.

Never taking his eyes from hers, he held her just a little tighter and nodded. "I'm Benny."

 **Please review…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Holy shit, you guys! Amazing response to the first chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, favorited, and reviewed. You're all very nice, and sweet, and generally wonderful.**

 **Oh, and just fyi, I usually don't cast my OC's with celebrities, because I want you to be able to see them in your heads however** _ **you**_ **want to, just based on my description. But that being said, this time around I realized that the Sarah I imagined is basically identical to the lovely Alison Brie. So if you need some help visualizing what she looks like, just google Alison Brie with shoulder-length hair and that's almost exactly what my Sarah Franklin looks like :)**

 **And since I didn't clarify in the first chapter, this story will basically be AU. Not really planning on following much of the original plot, just in case you were wondering.**

 **Ok, enough chit chat. Here's a little more of Hap and Sarah. Let me know what you think!**

Chapter Two

She was dizzy and lightheaded, certain that she was going to drop at any second. But focusing on Benny's face seemed to help to at least slow the spinning beneath her feet. So for a few minutes, Sarah just kept her gaze locked on his; pleasantly distracted, if just for a moment, by how the darkest eyes she'd ever seen were also somehow the warmest.

But after a while she was brought back to reality when she felt the large hands around her arms barely tighten, and he spoke with a deep but quiet voice. "How bad are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

She reached one of her hands to the back of her head and felt the small knot forming on her scalp before shaking her head. "No. I think I'm good. I hit my head when he…" The feeling of helplessness that had overwhelmed her just a few short minutes before flooded her body, and she bit hard on her lip to keep from crying. "…when he pushed me down. But I never blacked out or anything."

He studied her for a few more seconds, seemingly judging for himself if she was really alright, before he barely nodded his head to the side. "Who is he?"

She glanced over at the man lying on the pavement a few feet away and immediately had to close her eyes and swallow the bile rising in her throat. _Oh God, that's a lot of blood…_

"Sarah?"

"Hmmm?" She slowly turned back to Benny and looked at him once more.

The concern on his face was evident as he took a fraction of a step closer. "I asked you who he is."

She couldn't bring herself to look back over, so she just stared straight ahead at the plain gray cotton of Benny's t-shirt. "I don't know. I've never seen him before. I was just walking home, and it was like he came out of nowhere." She couldn't hide the tremble in her voice and squeezed her eyes shut hard just as her tears started to fall once more. "Shit…"

"Hey…Hey, It's alright now. You're ok. You're safe."

She didn't flinch when Benny pulled her close against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, caressing her back with the tips of his fingers. And she didn't know why his presence calmed her so much, or how she was able to completely relax her body against his. All she knew was that this savior, this knight in baggy jeans and a faded t-shirt, had kept her from being raped and had possibly saved her life. And she knew she didn't want him to let her go.

* * *

Happy held her while she finally cried the sobs she'd been trying so hard to hold back. And for just a moment, he allowed himself to enjoy the way she fit so perfectly in his arms; her head tucked securely under his chin so that he could lean down and smell the soft flowery scent of her hair. But when he felt her take a few deep breaths and lift her head from his chest, he loosened his grasp and pulled back a few inches.

Those big, hazy blue eyes stared up at him again as she whispered. "Benny, I…" He wasn't sure what she was going to say, but he knew what was going to happen next when her pale skin suddenly turned a sickly green. "Oh my God…"

He had just enough notice to take one step backwards before Sarah vomited what looked to be a gallon of liquor all over the ground, his boots, and his jeans. Then he quickly went behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting her as she continued to throw up more than he thought her small stomach could hold.

When there was nothing left, she slowly stood up straight and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. Then she turned around to face him, her bleary eyes full of humiliation. "Oh God, that's so gross. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm really drunk."

Hap just shook his head and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from her tear stained cheeks. "Don't worry about it. I've seen worse." He could see the strength she had remaining slowly starting to dissipate as her legs started to wobble and knew he had to get her out of there before she passed out. "Where do you live?"

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, and he could tell she was fighting off another round of nausea. "Um…782 Whittier Steet."

Hap sighed. _That's about eight blocks in the opposite direction, and there's no way she's gonna make it that far._ So he just placed a gentle arm around her waist and carefully started walking her towards the sidewalk. "Come on. My house is just about five minutes this way. I can clean you up a little there and then drive you home."

Sarah nodded and took a few unsteady steps, but after a moment she paused and looked back at her attacker, still out cold on the concrete. "Don't…don't we need to call the police?"

But Hap just kept walking, not once looking back. "I'll take care of it."

* * *

It took a little longer than he thought, but after almost carrying her the last half of the short journey, they finally made it to the house.

Hap unlocked the door and stepped inside, his arm now firmly set around her waist since he was pretty sure she no longer had the ability to stand up on her own. Then he helped her up the small flight of stairs to the second floor and opened the first door on the left.

He guided Sarah into his childhood bedroom, walked her to the edge of the bed, and turned her around so that she could slowly sink down onto the mattress. Then once she was seated, Sarah opened her heavy eyelids just enough to glance around at all the boxes neatly stacked along the wall. "Are you moving?"

Hap swallowed the small lump in his throat and shook his head. "This was my mom's house. She died a few weeks ago. I'm just packing up some things."

She stared up at him and focused on his face, her eyes getting just a little more clear. "I'm so sorry."

Hap wanted to say something back to her, but in that moment, he didn't quite trust himself to speak. He'd been keeping a tight rein on his emotions since the morning his mother passed away, but the sadness and genuine concern in Sarah's voice threatened to bring them to the surface, and he knew he wasn't ready for that. So instead he just looked to the floor and nodded.

After a few seconds, when he looked back up at her and remembered the scattered cuts and scrapes all over her body, he took a step back towards the hall. "I'll be right back." Then he quickly went to the little bathroom one door down, grabbed the first aid kit underneath the sink, and then walked back to his bedroom.

He took some gauze and soaked it with alcohol before he started cleaning her wounds. And to her credit, as he ran the material against her leg, her arm, and her hands, she barely flinched. It was only when he poured a little more antiseptic on the material and cleaned the cut on her forehead that she bit her lip and barely whimpered.

When all the dirt had been washed away and he'd applied a couple of butterfly bandages to her head, Hap put everything back in the kit before walking over to his dresser and grabbing a clean t-shirt and a pair of his old sweatpants.

"Your clothes are in pretty bad shape. Put these on and then, once you're dressed, I can take you home, alright?"

She tried her best to smile, but it came out a little broken. "Alright."

He placed his clothes in her lap and then took a step backwards. "Do, uh…do you need help, you know, changing?"

She just shook her head and ran her fingers over the soft cotton material in her hands. "I'll manage."

Hap didn't say anything else, just turned and walked out to the hallway, closing the door behind him and waiting several minutes to give Sarah enough time to change. But after a few long moments passed by when he didn't hear any sounds coming from his room, he took a step closer to the door and knocked. "Sarah? Are you ready?"

He waited just a couple of seconds before hesitantly opening the door, and when he glanced inside and over towards his bed, he couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from barely lifting in the smallest of smiles.

His sweatpants, along with her ruined shirt and skirt, were lying in a heap on his floor. But at least she'd managed to get his t-shirt on before passing out on top of his covers.

He went to the bed and gently lifted her shoulders just enough to move her so that her head was resting on top of his pillow. Then, as she lied on her side and curled herself into a little ball, he freed the sheets and blankets beneath her so that he could pull them up over her smooth, pale legs and tuck them close beneath her chin. And only then, when she was completely covered by the old green and yellow Oakland A's comforter that he'd had since he was a kid, did he finally sit down on the bed beside her.

 _What the fuck am I doing?_ For a second, Hap had to wonder if tonight was actually happening, or if it was just some crazy, messed up dream. He never brought women to his mother's house, he never let them sleep in his bed, and he sure as hell never told any of them his given name. He liked order. He liked routine. And he hated when change disrupted the balance in his life.

But as he stared down at the pretty brunette lying peacefully beside him, and remembered the way his name sounded when it had fallen across her lips, he couldn't deny the warm feeling that spread throughout his chest…or even begin to figure out what it meant.

Hap lingered for just a few moments longer, but knew he couldn't stay there forever. He started to stand, but before he could rise up from the bed, Sarah's hand moved to rest on top of thigh.

He gazed down at her face, surprised at how much he was looking forward to seeing that stormy shade of blue one more time. But to his disappointment, she never opened her eyes. Instead, she just whispered. "Thank you."

Happy just shook his head. "You already said that once tonight."

A single stray tear fell down her cheek. "Once isn't enough." Then her fingers drifted back down to his sheets as her breathing evened out, and she floated into quiet unconsciousness once more.

His hand moved on its own accord as it came to rest on the side of her face; his thumb caressing her swollen cheek as his fingertips rested against the softness of her hair. Then, unable to stop himself, he leaned down and barely grazed his lips against her temple, too distracted by the way his heart was racing to wonder what the hell he was doing.

He stood up from the bed and glanced down at her one more time, the bruises on her face becoming more and more pronounced with each passing minute. Then the familiar, quiet rage he experienced whenever someone hurt the people he cared about filled every cell in his body, and he knew exactly what he had to do.

He needed to make sure that no one would ever hurt Sarah again.

* * *

Happy silently closed the door to his bedroom and went downstairs to the kitchen table to get the Ka-Bar he'd taken off his belt earlier that night. Then he walked outside to his mom's garage where he grabbed a tarp, some rope, and a bottle of bleach, before he got behind the wheel of her old Lincoln Continental and headed down the street to the convenience store.

He backed the car into the rear parking lot, right beside the dumpster, and then walked around the corner to the entrance. The cigarettes he'd abandoned on the sidewalk were still there, so he picked up the box and tucked it up under his arm before going inside and walking up to the register. He glanced quickly around the store to make sure they were alone. Then he focused his eyes on the old nightshift clerk; an elderly Cuban man who'd been friends with his mother and who he'd known since he was a teenager.

Hap's voice was as steady and intense as the look in his eyes. "Turn the security lights off outside for the next five minutes, and give me all the surveillance tapes you have for the night. You never saw me here."

Everyone in the neighborhood knew who Happy Lowman was, knew exactly what he was capable of, and knew better than to ask him questions. He was a Son, he was a criminal, and without a doubt, he was a killer. But to everyone's knowledge, he'd never hurt anyone who didn't have it coming. So, without fear or hesitation, the old man just nodded once before turning to switch off the exterior lights and retrieve the video tapes from the security system. Then he just handed them to Happy and stared as he turned and walked out of the store without another word.

* * *

 _He's still breathing_. Hap sighed in disgust. Three of his hardest punches thrown directly at the fucker's skull, and somehow the asshole was still breathing. Then Happy turned his head to look at the dumpster, where he could somehow still see Sarah and how she'd looked earlier that night; bruised, bloodied, and terrified out of her mind. And with that image playing in his head like a nightmare on repeat, he glanced back at the man lying on the ground and grinned. _You're breathing now, you piece of shit. But you won't be for long._

Hap had murdered and cleaned up after himself so many times, he could have done it blindfolded. He laid the tarp down and dragged the guy on top of it until he was lying directly in the middle. Then, with a quickness and precision that had taken years to master, he drove his knife into the man's neck; severing his arteries and spinal cord, killing him instantly.

Within seconds, he wrapped the tarp around the body and secured it with the rope before placing it carefully in the trunk of the Lincoln. Then finally, after pouring bleach over every surface that could have had his or Sarah's DNA, he quietly closed the trunk, got back into the car, and drove calmly out into the night.

Now he just had to dump the fucker somewhere where no one would ever find him, but for Happy Lowman that was always the easy part. _I know a thousand places to bury bodies._

* * *

When Happy pulled back into his mother's garage, he closed the large door before turning on the light and cleaning out the inside of the trunk so that absolutely no evidence remained. Then he took off his clothes and immediately threw them into the washing machine before making his way into the house.

He walked straight up the stairs and to the bathroom where he took a scalding hot, five minute shower. Then he quickly dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist before walking back to the hallway and over to his bedroom door.

Hap opened it as quietly as possible and almost grinned when he still saw her there, unmoved from the moment he left, asleep and perfectly at home in a place he didn't share with anyone.

And he wanted to be close to her. He couldn't even begin to understand why, but more than anything, in the still quiet of the early morning, surrounded by darkness; he wanted to crawl into bed beside her, wrap his arm around her waist, and know what it felt like to fall asleep lying next to her. _Feel her breath on my shoulder…feel her pulse beneath my hands…_

But instead, he walked over to his dresser, found some old basketball shorts, and slipped them on before going to his closet and grabbing an extra pillow and a couple spare blankets.

Then he just laid down on the floor a few feet away, still wishing like hell that he could touch her, and still clueless as to the reason why.

But Hap figured all the answers could wait until morning. For now, he would just let his eyes drift up to Sarah's face and allow himself the contentment that came from watching her sleep.

 _ **Please review…**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey my loves! I'm so sorry to have been away for so long. Thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited. I never had any intention of abandoning this story, but after the second chapter, I got a massive case of writer's block. With my other two fics, I knew exactly how I wanted them to end from the very beginning. I just had to fill in the space between. But this is the opposite. I know how I want most of the story to unfold, but I have no clue as to how I'm going to end it. So I've just been kind of stuck, but I missed writing and I missed all of you, so I figured it was about time to get off my ass and get back at it :)**

 **Thanks again for sticking with me. I really hope you like the next chapter in Sarah and Happy's story. And as always, please review!**

Chapter 3

The moment Sarah's eyes fluttered open, she immediately covered them with her hand, shielding them from the bright morning sunlight. _Oh god, my head…_ Then she closed her eyes again and rolled onto her side, but the second she moved a low groan escaped her lips as seemingly every muscle in her body tensed with pain. _Shit, did I get hit with a truck last night?_ She slowly reached one of her arms over to get some ibuprofen out of her nightstand, but when her hand met the end of the bed and only found empty space where her table should have been, her eyes popped open once more.

As the last remnants of sleep faded away, fragments of the night before invaded her mind, and Sarah wished like hell she could pretend she was still dreaming. _Ok, I got home from work and went to a bar. And I got drunk…like, really, really drunk. And I was walking home for a while, but I got lost. And then…_ she swallowed the lump in her throat and clenched her fists in the bed sheets… _then that guy…that guy attacked me. Oh my god, he was going to…_ She shut her eyes again and shook her head softly, swallowing down the sickness that threatened to come up her throat. _He was going to rape me. I was on the ground, bleeding and hurt, and he was on top of me. But then someone saved me._

So much of the previous night was hazy, blurred by the pain and fatigue and the gin, but the one thing that Sarah could remember with perfect clarity was him. _Benny._ The tan of his skin, the tone of his voice, the strength in his arms, and the warmth in his eyes; all of it flashed through her memory in an instant. And with those images in her mind, she felt her heart beat slow back to normal, her nausea dissipate, and her body relax. _I'm fine. I'm safe. Nothing happened to me…because Benny stopped him._

Only after repeating that thought to herself a few more times did Sarah finally open her eyes again and look around the room. She had no idea how she ended up in what looked like a teenaged boy's bedroom, sleeping in a clean t-shirt with fresh bandages expertly applied over all her cuts and scrapes. The last thing she could remember was trying like hell to stand up straight and then throwing up all over the parking lot. But even though she didn't know where she was or how she got there, Sarah realized that she wasn't even a little afraid. Curious? Yes. Confused? Absolutely. But no, she wasn't afraid. _Because I know I was with Benny last night and for some reason, and I have no idea why, I know that he kept me safe._

* * *

"Um…Hi."

Hap heard her quiet, unsteady voice and looked up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table. She was still wearing his t-shirt, plus the sweatpants he'd left folded beside the bed, and she was carrying her shoes, purse, and torn, bloodied clothing in her arms.

He stood up from his chair and met her eyes, but didn't move towards her. Uncertainty wasn't something Happy Lowman was accustomed to, but after thinking about her every second of the morning, he still didn't know what to do or say. So he just took a breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hey."

He didn't know what he expected to feel when he saw her that morning, a part of him hoping that in the daylight she'd be just another woman instead of the magnet that had drawn him to her the night before. But as he studied the chocolate brown hair falling around her shoulders, her dark blue eyes, and her pretty fair skin, he realized he had to fight the urge to reach out and hold her.

Apparently nothing had changed. He was still nothing short of fascinated, and he had no idea why.

She wasn't able to hide her nervousness as she tucked her hair behind her ears and hugged her wadded up clothing closer to her chest. "I, uh, don't remember how I got here last night."

Hap took a half a step in her direction and nodded. "What's the last thing you do remember?"

A deep red blushed bloomed in her cheeks as she bit her lower lip and cringed. "Vomiting all over your shoes." Then she met his eyes and shook her head. "I am so sorry."

He couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from momentarily twitching upwards. "It's alright. Don't worry about it." When she returned his grin with the smallest of smiles, he continued. "You weren't gonna make it to your place last night, too long of a walk. So I brought you here to clean you up a little and then drive you home. But you passed out. Figured I'd let you sleep it off."

A few seconds passed by, but when Hap saw her smile fade along with the color in her face, he knew what question was coming. "So, what…what happened? With that guy?"

Happy had to take a moment and steel himself for the lie he was about to tell. Other than to cops, he never lied, ever. He just didn't see the point. He was proud of who he was and what he did, and he'd be damned if he ever let himself feel the need to hide from anyone or anything. But although it went against his code and would taste like acid in his mouth, Hap knew he couldn't tell Sarah the truth. Because he didn't know where she worked. He didn't know where she grew up. He didn't know if she had a boyfriend or a brother or a dog. _Fuck, I don't even know her last name._ But he was 100% certain, from the moment he looked into those big, round eyes, that she was good; good and sweet and normal and the type of woman who'd see him for what he really is and run screaming in the other direction.

Happy Lowman didn't care if the whole world saw him as a killer. _But not her, just…not her._

So he met her eyes, straightened his shoulders, and lied. "After you fell asleep I went back to the convenience store to check on him. He was dead."

"Oh my God." Her voice was little more than a whisper as she sank down into the closest kitchen chair, a mix of horror and relief drifting across her pale face. She took a few deep breaths before looking back at him. "Did you call the police yet?"

Hap never broke eye contact with her, but barely shook his head. "No, and I'm not going to."

Her brow furrowed in complete and utter confusion. "What? What are you talking about? What do you mean? We have to…"

But Happy interrupted her ramblings with three words, and this time they were true. "I'm on probation." He watched as all her questions caught in her throat and she blinked her eyes a few times, speechless. Then he just shrugged. "I can't tell the cops I killed someone, because I'll go back to jail."

He could tell from the look on her face that she wanted to know why he'd been in prison, but he was grateful that some part of her kept her from asking. Instead she quickly came to his defense. "But…you didn't do anything wrong. You kept him from hurting me. You…you saved my life. How could you get in trouble for that?"

"It won't matter. Trust me."

Sarah ran a hand through her hair and frowned. "But, God, someone's going to know, right? I mean, he's still _there_. There's a _body_ and…"

"He's not there anymore. I took care of it."

She couldn't hide the tremors in her voice. "I don't understand."

Taking slow, cautious steps, Hap sat down in the chair closest to hers and hesitantly reached across the table to hold her shaking hands. "You don't want to know the details. But I promise, it's over. No one knows. No one will ever know. It'll be like last night never even happened."

She didn't move away from his touch, but stared silently down at their joined hands for a few long minutes, before finally meeting his gaze once more. And he didn't know what she was about to say, but he would have never guessed it would be an apology.

"I'm so sorry."

Hap tilted his head slightly to the side and frowned. "What? Why?"

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but couldn't stop a few stray tears from escaping down her cheeks. "You risked your life, your freedom, to save me. I'm a complete stranger, and you've done nothing but help me, and look at the position I've put you in. Look…look at what I forced you to do. I'm so, so sorry you had to do that."

Hap couldn't remember the last time he felt guilty about something, but in that moment, the guilt he felt for lying to Sarah nearly ate him alive. There she was, apologizing for being fucking attacked; blaming herself for making him kill that asshole. If only he could tell her that he did it happily, gladly, that he enjoyed it. That he would have done it a thousand more times with a fucking smile on his face, as long as it meant keeping her safe.

He tightened the hold he had on her hands and held his breath as he tentatively leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Don't. Don't be sorry. I'm not." Then he repeated the words he said to her the night before. "He can't hurt you again. That's all that matters."

After a couple of minutes, Sarah gently pulled her hands away from Happy's and slowly stood up from the chair. "I need to go get my car. It's still parked in front of the bar I went to last night. Could I, um, borrow your phone to call a cab?"

Hap's chest tightened slightly at the thought of her leaving, but he pushed aside the sensation and shook his head. "I'll drive you there, if that's ok?"

He hoped like hell he hid the anxiousness from his voice. Sure, he'd lied to her about the way he'd murdered that fucker. But she knew he was a criminal, knew he hid a body from the cops, knew enough to know that he was dangerous. So a part of him was prepared for her to say no, to just walk out the door and out of his life as quickly as she possibly could.

But much to his surprise, a tiny grateful smile graced her lips as she nodded. "Yeah, I mean…you don't have to. God knows I've disrupted your life enough already, but…yeah, that'd be great if you could give me a ride."

Hap watched as she slipped her shoes back on her bare feet and then gathered her clothes back up in her arms, and he couldn't help but notice the strange look on her face or keep himself from asking what it meant. "What are you thinking about right now?"

Sarah blushed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she averted her gaze to the floor. "It's stupid, really. I was just thinking how I've never broken the law before."

He wanted to smile at her sweetness, but just shook his head instead. "You still haven't. I did." Then he walked to the door that led to the garage and opened it, holding it for her as she walked through. "Come on. Let's get you home."

* * *

Hap pulled the Lincoln up behind Sarah's Toyota and watched her get in before following her a few more blocks to her house. He knew she was a grown woman, but he wanted to make sure she got home alright. At least that's what he told himself instead of admitting that he just wasn't quite ready to let her go.

Less than five minutes later, she pulled into a driveway in front of an older but well maintained little house as Hap parked his car in front of the curb. Then they both climbed out and met on the sidewalk, standing just a few inches from one another.

Sarah glanced over to the house and shrugged. "Well, this is my house. I mean, I rent it, but this is where I live."

Happy took in the little green two story with pink flowers hanging from a porch and roses lining the walk way. Then he looked around at the other houses that surrounded it, most of them falling into disrepair with broken staircases and bars on some of the windows.

He stared back in confusion at the beautiful woman in front of him. "You live here alone?"

"Yeah."

Then he took in her fair skin, pink manicured fingernails, and kind, innocent eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't exactly look like you belong in this neighborhood."

Sarah let out a tiny laugh and sighed. "Yeah, I get that a lot. I moved here a few years ago after my divorce." When Hap's eye widened slightly, she just shrugged. "It's a long story."

A few quiet seconds passed before she started to take a small step backwards. "Well, I guess I should…"

"Sarah, listen." Happy had been perfectly contented in those moments to just stand there with her, not touching but close enough that he could still smell the slightest hint of her perfume. But when he saw her start to walk away, he knew he had to say these words, even though he didn't want to. "I know last night was…hard for you, and I know you probably want to talk to someone about it. But you can't. I'm sorry. I know that's fucked up, but I can't risk someone else finding out and calling the cops."

She stared up at his face for a few more moments before reaching forward and grabbing one of his hands. "Benny…" It was the first time she'd said his name since the night before, and hearing it again sent warmth rushing through his chest. "I'll never be able to pay you back for what you did for me last night. But I swear I'll never let you get in trouble over it. I'll never a say a word to anyone. Not one word. Ever. I promise."

That was when Happy looked into her eyes and realized he trusted her. He couldn't explain it, couldn't even begin to understand it, but he did. He believed every word she said, and more than that, he wanted to.

Not knowing what else to do, Hap just squeezed her hand a little tighter before letting it go and walking back to his car. And he was just about to get in when Sarah took a couple steps towards him and called out his name.

"Benny, I don't know if…this might sound weird, but…would you, do you want to come over for dinner sometime? I just, I thought maybe we could…"

"I don't think that's a good idea." Hap wished like hell he could take back the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he knew in his heart it was right thing to say. _I can't keep lying to her. A woman like her has no business being around me, around my life. Let her keep believing I'm the good guy she thinks I am right now. And let that be the end of it._

He hated himself when he saw the disappointment etched across her face. "Oh…um, ok. Sure, I understand." Then she just looked down to the ground for a moment and shook her head before raising her eyes up to his. "Well then, just…thank you, again. Thank you."

Happy watched her as she turned back around and walked up to her porch, waiting until she unlocked her front door and was safely inside the house. Then he got into the car and headed back to his mom's, where he packed his shit as fast as he could and climbed on his bike. Then he started his Harley, peeled out onto the street, and headed north back to Charming. And with every mile away from Bakersfield, he hoped the images of pretty brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes would fade away like the road beneath his tires. Because it didn't matter how much he wanted to be with her. And it didn't matter how much he wanted to see her again. He had asked her to pretend like the night they met never happened, and now he would do the same.

From this moment on, Sarah would be nothing but a memory.

 _ **Please review…**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, so no excuses. I haven't updated this story in about a hundred years. Biggest case of writers block in history. I'm not making any promises about this story or when I'll update again. All I know is that I missed you all terribly, I missed writing, and I really missed Happy and Sarah. I know in my heart they have a lot more story to tell.**

 **Please go back and read the story from the beginning if you need to remember what the hell was going on since the last update. I know I had to :)**

 **Truly, truly, love you guys. Thanks to everyone who has taken time to review and who in turn motivated me to keep going. As always, I really hope you like it and please review!**

Chapter 4

Sarah was sitting at her desk, listening to music on her headphones and processing a pile of insurance forms, when she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder.

"Jesus!" She whirled around in her chair as fast as she could, gasping as she pulled the headphones out of her ears while simultaneously slapping away the touch.

Her boss took a quick step back, looking just as startled as she did. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to frighten you. I said your name a couple times, but I guess you didn't hear me."

Sarah took a few seconds to slow her breathing before shaking her head and offering a small, apologetic smile. "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Blakely. I'm just…I don't know, jumpy, I guess. I shouldn't have had my earbuds in. Did you need something?"

He nodded his head towards the clock hanging on the wall, showing that it was seventeen minutes past six. "Just wanted to tell you that it's time to go home for the day."

She nodded up to the older man. "Oh, sorry, I guess it is. I'm just going to finish putting these forms in the system. It shouldn't take long. I'll lock up tonight."

Mr. Blakely gave her a friendly smile. "Well don't stay too late. It's Friday. Go out and have some fun." He grabbed his coat and briefcase and headed for the door, but paused for a moment before turning back to face her. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Sarah forced a bright smile and nodded. "Absolutely. Have a great weekend, sir. I'll see you Monday."

As soon as the door slammed shut and she was completely alone, Sarah turned back to her desk, let her forehead fall down onto the stack of papers in front of her, and sighed. _Damn it, Sarah. It's been three weeks. Pull it together. It's over. It's over. It's over…_

The first few days after the attack had been the hardest; jumping every time the phone rang because she thought it would be the police, faking an illness to take time off work, and convincing her well-meaning but overbearing mother that the bruises on her face were the result of tripping over an extension cord instead of being slammed against concrete.

But after the first week passed by and her bruises began to fade, getting through each day got easier. Sure, she still slept with the light on, and triple checked all the locks on her windows, and hadn't eaten a decent meal, and felt crippled by the weight of her fear and guilt...but she was fine. She was safe. She knew that. She only had to repeat it silently to herself about a hundred times a day to believe it.

But for the most part, and especially around other people, Sarah was able to bury it all down and wish it away. At least she was until moments like this, when she was surprised or startled by an unexpected sound or touch, and the fear comes raging back up to the surface.

Sarah shook away the shadows in her mind long enough to finish up her work and turn off all the lights in the office. Then she threw on her jacket, slung her purse over her shoulder, and walked to the door, making sure it was locked before quickly heading to the parking garage. Then she got into her car, turned on the radio, and headed home.

* * *

Sarah thought tonight would be just like every other. She would go inside, force down some dinner, distract herself with a mindless TV show, and eventually try to will her body to sleep. But those plans changed the moment she pulled into her driveway, climbed out of her car, and made her way up the short path to her porch.

Because that was the moment she finally noticed him standing there.

Sarah couldn't hide the surprise from her voice, nor could she deny the small smile that fell upon her lips as she said his name. "Benny?"

* * *

Happy had been anxiously sitting on her front steps for nearly an hour, but he stood up the second her shitty little car pulled up to the house. And as soon as he saw her face he inhaled deeply, feeling as though it was the first time in three weeks he could truly breathe.

He had no idea if Sarah would ever want to see him again, certain that a part of her would just see him as a reminder of something she probably wanted to forget. So his entire body sagged in relief when she met his eyes and smiled.

He'd almost forgotten how much he liked the sound of her voice. "What are you doing here?"

Hap ran a hand over his cleanly shaven head and swallowed back all the words he knew he couldn't say. _I'm here because I can't stop thinking about you. Because I can still feel how soft your hair was on my fingers when I held you against my chest. Because I've mixed my colors while trying to sketch you, but I can never get the exact right shade of your eyes. Because I can't fuck another woman without turning my head and picturing you. Because I left you here alone after you were assaulted and I worry about you until I feel sick. Because I have absolute control over everything in my life except for the way I feel about you. Because I just couldn't stay away._

But instead of all that, he just took a small breath and shrugged his shoulders. "I was just wondering if that offer for dinner is still on the table?"

* * *

Hap waited for her to unlock the front door before following her inside into the small living room. "Um, can you just give me a sec to change out of my work clothes? I'll be right back."

He watched her disappear up the small flight of stairs, hiding his grin when he saw the nervous smile she had on her face. Then he took a couple of minutes to look around the house.

It was funny, because he barely knew her, but somehow Happy thought that the room he was standing in looked so much like Sarah. The walls were a shade of white that reminded him of a pearl; almost iridescent with the slightest glow of pink where the lamp light fell. And the sofa that sat in front of the TV was beige and oversized, with a thick white throw blanket draped over one corner. The fluffy rug in the center of the room looked comfortable enough to sleep on, and the shelves and the walls were filled with candles, books, and art prints that made the whole space just feel lived in. It was cozy and sweet and girly, but in a grown up way. It was Sarah.

He took a few steps towards the couch and ran his fingertips absentmindedly over the material for a few minutes before he turned to see Sarah coming back down the steps. The dress shirt and skirt she had been wearing were gone, replaced by faded skinny jeans and a silky pink tank top that draped loosely away from her frame. She had taken her hair out of her pony tail, so that it hung down just to the very top of her collar bone, and it looked like she had put just a tiny bit of gloss on her perfect, full lips.

She got to the base of the stairs before meeting his eyes, and when she caught him staring, she wasn't the only one that blushed. "So, uh…the kitchen's this way. Do you want something to drink?"

As she walked passed him and barely brushed her shoulder against his chest, he took in a breath and had to fight the urge to sigh. She was wearing the same perfume that she had worn the night they met; something expensive and delicate that smelled like a mixture of soap, and apples, and flowers after a rainstorm. It was so different than what the croweaters usually drowned themselves in; body sprays that were too sweet, too strong, and too cheap. Sarah just smelled clean and soft and feminine. It almost made him dizzy.

He followed her into the kitchen, which was mostly white except for the pale sky blue on the walls. Then he sat down in one of the two dining chairs that surrounded the small round table, and tried unsuccessfully to look away from the way her ass filled out her jeans as she leaned down to look in the refrigerator.

When she glanced back at him over her shoulder, he quickly averted his eyes. "Ok, I have chardonnay, pinot grigio, and a rose…" He barely shook his head and she grinned. "Not much of a wine drinker, huh?" She gave him a small, sweet smile before turning back to the fridge. "Other than that I have coke, pomegranate juice, a Heineken that's been sitting in here since the day I moved in four years ago, and a bottle of Jack Daniels that someone gave me for Christmas last year but I've never opened because I think it's disgusting."

When she turned to look at him again, Hap almost grinned and nodded. "Jack and coke sounds good."

He thanked her for the drink she handed him before watching as she poured herself a glass of white wine and drank a couple of nervous gulps. Then she took a deep breath and shook her head before turning quickly back to the refrigerator. "Oh, right. Dinner. Uh…I wasn't, you know, expecting anyone, so I don't have a bunch of groceries." He was about to tell her not to worry about it, that they both knew he didn't really come there for the food, but before he could she pulled a container out of the freezer and smiled. "How about some pasta puttanesca?"

Hap just shrugged. "I have no idea what that is."

Sarah smiled. "It's a tomato sauce with olives and garlic and capers and stuff. It's really good, I promise."

The corners of his mouth turned slightly upward. "If you promise."

They didn't say much to each other during the short time it took Sarah to heat up the sauce, boil the pasta, and throw a loaf of frozen garlic bread into the oven. But Happy didn't find the silence to be awkward…more like comfortable. But when everything was on the table and she placed a full plate in front of him, he broke the quiet with thoughtful "Thank you."

Sarah chewed on her lower lip as she watched him take his first bite. "So? What do you think?"

Hap almost sighed before he swallowed and nodded. "It's really good. You made this?"

A relieved smile crossed her lips. "Yeah, thanks. I mean, it's not hard or anything. It's just pasta sauce, but I'm glad you like it."

Happy wasn't used to home cooking anymore, especially since his mom passed away, so he ate slowly and took his time savoring every bite. It wasn't until he was almost finished that something occurred to him. "Does this have any meat in it?"

Sarah shook her head. "Oh, no. It has some anchovy paste, but that's it. I don't cook with meat, or eat it for that matter. I'm a vegetarian actually."

Hap almost choked on the whiskey he'd just swallowed, and before he could stop himself, the words just came out. "Why the fuck would you do that to yourself?"

For a split second he worried he might have offended her, but his frown was replaced by a grin when she started laughing.

* * *

Sarah felt lighter than she had in ages. Just sitting there with Benny making small talk was the best time she'd had in as long as she could remember. _Well, I guess I'm making small talk and he's just sitting there listening to me, but he doesn't look bored yet, so I guess that's something._

Their conversation was random and mostly one sided, but it felt really good to talk to someone who seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. She told Benny that she became a vegetarian in college after watching some god awful documentary about factory farming. She told him that she majored in business because her parents wanted her to, even though it always bored her to tears. She told him about her older sister, Rachel, who she loved even though they drove each other insane. And then somehow she even ended up telling him that she hated drinking coffee, even though coffee was her favorite ice cream flavor.

At some point Sarah saw the amused look on his face and frowned. "I feel like I'm rambling. Am I rambling?"

She could see the way he tried to hide his smile. "A little. But I don't mind."

Sarah brushed a lock of dark brown hair behind her ears and huffed out a laugh at herself before looking back at Benny. "Ok, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Quiet, how about you tell me something about yourself now?"

He leaned back in his chair and shrugged. "What do you want to know?"

Sarah wished she had to guts to ask him what she really wanted to. _Why are you here? Do you think about that night as much as I do? Do you hate me for making you hurt that man? Do you still see his face when you close your eyes? Because I do…every time._

She blinked her eyes a couple of times, pushing all those questions back down for another day, before looking back to Benny's face. She didn't have to be a genius to see that he didn't really like to talk about himself, so she tried to think of something harmless to ask. "Where do you work?"

"A repair shop in Charming, up in San Joaquin county. I'm a mechanic."

"You don't live in Bakersfield?"

"Not since I was 18."

"So what's Charming like?"

"Small."

Sarah couldn't help but grin. _A man of many words._ "Well…what do you do for fun?"

Benny blew out a breath and leaned forward, placing his folded arms on the table. "I don't know…" He paused for a second, as if he was deciding what exactly to say. But when he finally spoke, the look on his face seemed like he was about to share a secret. "I draw."

She softly smiled. Of all the things she expected the big, intimidating man sitting across from her to say, that wasn't it. "Really? What do like to draw?"

He seemed to recognize the sincere curiosity in her voice, because his shoulders noticeably relaxed as his eyes slightly brightened. "Anything. Everything. Whatever inspires me that day."

Sarah couldn't hide the admiration in her voice. "I've always envied artistic people. I can't even draw stick figures." When he almost grinned, she smiled. "I'd love to see them someday, your sketches, if you'd let me."

A long beat passed between them, with just his warm brown eyes staring into her dark blues, before he nodded so slightly it was almost imperceptible. "Sure."

Sarah found herself a little lost in the intensity of the moment and suddenly looked away, clearing her throat to break whatever tension had blossomed between them. "So…uh, what else do you like to do with your time?"

That amused smile of his briefly flickered across his face again, and she just knew he could sense how nervous she was. But then he seemed to take pity on her, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back slightly away from her. "I spend most of my time on my bike."

Her eyes widened slightly as her brows arched upwards. "Bike, like a motorcycle, bike?"

When he nodded, a small shiver went up her spine, causing him to flash a questioning stare. "What? You don't like motorcycles?"

"I've never been on one."

Benny grinned at the incredulous look on her face. "Why not?"

She stared at him like that was the craziest question she'd ever heard. "Because they're death traps."

His grin widened. "Excuse me?"

"I work for an insurance company. Trust me. I know. Death traps."

This time it was Benny who started laughing.

* * *

When they were both finished eating Sarah started to clear the table, smiling up at Benny when he wordlessly helped her put the dishes in the sink. Then she made them each another drink before leading them back to the living room, where they both sat down on the sofa.

She settled back in the cushions, surprisingly relaxed, and wondered it if was because of the second glass of wine or the man sitting just a few inches away from her. _He's so quiet, but so sweet._ It wasn't just the things he said that had made her smile that night…it was all the things he didn't say. Those nearly unrecognizable smiles and playful, thoughtful glances all left the impression that there was so much hiding beneath the surface. There was so much more she wanted to know about him.

She grinned as she snuck a peek at his profile before sipping some more of her wine. The sight of him on her couch, surrounded by soft lighting and warm colors, made him seem a little less imposing… _I don't know…smaller, younger somehow…._ She couldn't stop herself from studying him. His skin was a gorgeous tan, at least the parts of it that weren't covered in colorful, intricate tattoos. His jaw was chiseled and his body was strong, evident by the muscles she could see occasionally tensing underneath his plain white t-shirt. And the way he carried himself seemed somehow casual and dangerous and inviting all at the same time. Sarah knew she'd been completely out of it the night they met, but in that moment it felt like she was seeing him for the very first time. _How could I not remember how handsome he is…_

"Uh…Sarah?"

When she heard his deep, raspy voice say her name and saw the laughter behind his eyes, she knew she'd been caught staring. _Oh, shit._ She could feel the heat on her skin as she blushed furiously. Then, trying to think of a way to cover, she quickly stared down at his arms. "Sorry, I was, um, just looking at your tattoos. They're really beautiful."

Benny grinned to himself before turning his body a little more towards hers. "Thanks."

"I don't remember noticing them that night…" She stopped midsentence and looked down at her hands. It was the first time either of them had brought up the night they met…the night of the attack. But now that it was out there, she knew they couldn't avoid it any longer.

She looked into his eyes, comforted by the concern she saw staring back. "It's weird, because I know it was almost a month ago, but sometimes it feels like it happened yesterday."

Benny swallowed and nodded, his voice quiet but strong. "Are you ok?"

She hated the way her hands started to tremble. "I'm fine…" But the look he gave her said he knew she was lying. Sarah looked away from him and blinked the moisture from her eyes. "I mean, I'm mostly fine. It's just…" She tried to think of the right thing to say without sounding like an idiot, but when she opened her mouth, everything just came streaming out. "Nobody knows, you know? No one. So I go to work, and visit my mom, and hang out with my friends, and see my sister, and I carry this thing with me; this _awful_ thing that happened, that I just can't get out of my head. And I get almost angry because I want them to _see_ me." She couldn't stop her voice from cracking. "I want them to see how I'm different, how it's changed me, changed everything. But they don't. All their worlds just go on spinning the exact same way, while mine is completely upended. I mean, how do they not see it?"

Sarah didn't even realize she'd started crying until Benny reached forward to cradle her face in his hands, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. But after a few seconds, she took a long slow breath and pulled away. "God, that made no sense. I'm sorry. I'm such a basket case. I know I sound stupid. I know I need to just get over it."

She expected him to look at her like she was crazy, just like she felt. But all she saw in those dark, pretty eyes of his was kindness. "It made perfect sense." Then a look of shame crossed his face. "And how are you supposed to get over it, when you can't talk about it with anybody? That's my fault. I put that on you. I'm the one that should be sorry."

Sarah didn't even think about it before grabbing one of his hands and holding it between both of her own. "Don't. Don't ever apologize to me. You're the only reason I'm sitting here, that I'm in one piece, that I wasn't…" Just like always, she forced the what-ifs out of her mind and focused back on the man sitting in front of her. "Benny, I owe you everything."

She didn't know how many minutes passed with them just sitting there, holding hands and finding comfort in the simple sight of each other. But after a while, Sarah inched slightly away from him, wiped a few remaining tears off her cheeks, and shook her head. "You know, I think I liked it better when I was asking you lighthearted, random questions about yourself, and I kept prying even though you only gave me mostly one word answers. Can we get back to that now?"

A full smile crossed his lips, the first she'd seen, and the sight of it caused a slow, soothing warmth to spread through her chest. He nodded. "Ask away."

"Ok, um…" She thought for a second before something popped in her head. "So, Benny? Is that short for Benjamin?"

Sarah could have sworn he almost blushed before barely shaking his head. "Benicio. My mom was from Cuba."

She just smiled. "I like it."

* * *

Happy couldn't remember ever talking to anyone as much as he talked to Sarah that night. They sat on that couch for hours, just telling each other stories about their childhoods, their families, and all the things they thought no one else would ever care about, but just wanted to share. He told her about his tattoos; falling in love with them so much that he learned how to be a tattoo artist himself. He told her about the different mediums he liked to use in his art work; paints and oils and pencils, but mostly whatever he had on hand. And he told her how, despite what she believed, motorcycles were amazing and the greatest source of happiness in his life.

Then, much to his surprise, Happy told Sarah about his mom.

Hap hadn't spoken to anyone about Teresa Lowman since her death, but if he was honest with himself, he'd tried not to talk about her to anyone for years. It was just too painful telling people about the most wonderful woman he'd ever known slowly dying of cancer.

But talking to Sarah brought him a sort of peace, like hearing his mother's stories said out loud again somehow brought her back to life in that moment. He told her how a poor Cuban immigrant came to California with barely more than the clothes on her back, about how she worked three jobs as a single mom but somehow was still always there for him, about how patient and understanding she'd been with him during his school years even though he knew he had put her through hell. Then he told her about the cancer. He told her about the funeral. And for the first time, Happy admitted how alone he'd felt since the day she died, and how he knew he'd always miss her.

The one thing he didn't tell Sarah was that she was the only person who seemed to take a little of the loneliness away.

* * *

A part of him wished he'd never have to leave, but at around two in the morning, when Sarah was no longer able to hide how tired she was, Happy reluctantly said it was time for him to go. She followed closely behind him as he made his way to the front door and stepped into the cool November night. But he didn't even have both feet outside before he turned around to look at her pretty face. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

The sleepy smile she gave him brought a flutter to his chest. "I'd love that."

Happy glanced down at those big blue eyes, pale beautiful skin, and full lips, and leaned down slowly for a kiss he'd been aching to have for weeks. But just a few inches away from her mouth he hesitated and changed course, letting his lips fall against her forehead and linger there until he heard her sweetly sigh.

Then he turned around and stepped off the porch. "I'll pick you up around 5."

But Sarah took a small step forward. "Can we make it 6 instead? I always go to the 4:30 mass at St. Brendan's."

When Hap turned back around, he couldn't hide his grin. "You're Catholic?"

Sarah just nodded as a small smirk fell on her lips. "Yeah. Why? What's with the face?"

He took a moment to just stare at the gorgeous little mystery that had somehow stumbled into his life, leaning against the porch railing, bathed in moonlight. "It's nothing. Just…" Then he just shook his head as his smile widened. "My mom would have loved you."

 _ **Please review…**_


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys! Seriously, do you know why I love writing? Because of you! Thank you so, so much for the amazing response to the last chapter. I'm so glad that so many of you are still enjoying this story. Your reviews and feedback meant everything to me. You're all just wonderful, lovely people :)**

 **Here's a little more of Hap and Sarah. I truly hope you like and, as always, please review!**

Chapter 5

Happy got out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist before stepping over to the sink. Then he wiped the steam from the mirror before reaching for his razor and shaving, careful to just trim the barely there goatee he'd had on his face for years. And when he was finished, he ran one of his hands over the graying stubble before grasping both sides of the sink and staring up at his own reflection. _What the fuck am I doing?_

He'd tried his best to stay busy all day; mowed the lawn, cleaned the gutters, changed the oil on his mom's car, and fixed the leak on the kitchen faucet. But it didn't matter how hard he attempted to focus on something else. All he thought about was Sarah.

And now, looking at himself in the mirror, he couldn't escape the questions that had been weighing on his mind since the night before. _Why are you seeing her again? Where the hell do you think this is going? Why are you lying to her? Why are you lying to yourself?_ Hap took a moment to study the man staring back at him in the mirror; a man whose age and hard living were starting to show on the lines around his darkened eyes and firmly set frown. Then he looked down at his tattoos; smiling faces that represented his kills and words proclaiming that he would live, die, and kill for his family. _I'm Happy Lowman. I'm a ruthless, cold hearted bastard. I'm a killer. And I'm a Son._

But then an image of Sarah crossed his mind, smiling at him from across her kitchen table, and he remembered how light he'd felt in that same moment…how young…how different.

And that was when he understood why he could feel like an entirely different person with Sarah…because he'd been that person once, a long time ago. Hap thought that he'd buried the last shred of the person he used to be the same day he buried his mom. But somehow, Sarah had brought his old self back to life. _That's why it feels so simple. That's why it doesn't feel like lying. Because when I'm with her, I don't feel like Happy Lowman at all. I'm not the Tacoma Killer. I'm not the most feared man in the MC. I'm not any of that._

 _I'm just Benny Lowman, Teresa's kid from down the block._

Happy stared at his reflection for just a few more seconds before shaking his head slightly and walking to his bedroom. He went through his drawers and found one of the few t-shirts he owned that didn't have a Sons logo, pulled on his nicest jeans, and laced up his boots. Then he went downstairs, and out of sheer habit, reached towards the hook in the hallway where his kutte and holster were hanging. But just as his fingertips brushed the familiar leather, he seemed to remember himself and instead grabbed the plain black hoodie that was hanging right beside it. Then he made his way to the garage.

He passed his moms Lincoln and walked over to where his Dyna was parked. It was beautiful; customized from drag bars to pipes, raw power in every cubic inch. But it only took one glance at the _Sons of Anarchy California_ emblazoned on the faring and the reapers painted hauntingly on the tank and rear fender to know that he wouldn't be riding that tonight. So he went to the back corner of the garage and, with dust flying in the air, pulled the cover off of his old bike; a 1988 Harley FXR Low Rider.

Hap never thought of himself as a sentimental guy, but no matter how broke he'd been or how tight things had gotten, he'd never once considered selling that bike. Sure, it wasn't anything that special to look at, and it couldn't compare to the performance machine he rode now. But it was his first motorcycle and the thing that gave birth to his greatest passion and truest source of freedom. He just loved it.

Happy maintained the bike throughout the year, so after wiping a thin layer of dust off of the metallic blue tank, he started it up with no trouble at all. Then he climbed on, revved the engine, and pulled out onto the street; meandering through his old neighborhood until he was parked in front of her house.

* * *

Hap didn't even try to hide the small smile that fell on his lips when he saw Sarah step out of her front door and onto the porch. She was wearing a simple, navy blue dress that was belted at her waist but flowed loosely around the middle of her thighs. It was cut just low enough to reveal the smooth, creamy skin beneath her collar bone but high enough that he couldn't see any cleavage. A denim jacket covered her shoulders with black ballet flats on her feet. And all of that, combined with her simple makeup and chocolate brown hair, damn near took his breath away. She was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.

Sarah smiled down at him on the sidewalk and took a step forward, but as soon as she glanced over his shoulder at the street, she stopped dead in her tracks. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "I'm not getting on that thing."

Happy looked back at his bike and his smile widened. "Figured you'd say that." Then he just walked up to the bottom of the two small steps that led to the porch, reached a hand forward, and waited; playfully staring into those big blue eyes of hers until a tiny smile crept back on her face.

Hap fought the urge to sigh at the feel of her skin when she finally placed her hand in his. Then he laced their fingers together and pulled her gently down the steps, guiding her to the sidewalk. "Don't worry. We don't need to ride anywhere. I thought we'd take a walk."

* * *

They didn't say much to each other as they walked past the houses on her street. The sun was just starting to set, so the sky was cast in a sea of oranges and pinks, and the late November breeze was just warm enough to keep her comfortable as it ruffled the hair falling down around her collar. But even though she wasn't the slightest bit cold, she found herself leaning into Benny more than she needed to.

They walked for about fifteen minutes before Benny drew them to a stop. They were standing in front of a dry cleaning shop, not too far from the bar she went to the first night they met. "We're here."

Sarah looked at the building in confusion before she glanced up at his handsome face and smirked. "Do you usually take dates to pick up your laundry?"

Benny rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Follow me, smart ass."

She laughed quietly as he pulled her down the alleyway to the back of the building until they reached a door with a small sign overhead, the only words written in Chinese symbols. Then he held the door open for her until she walked through. "Trust me. Best food in the city."

The moment they walked through the door an elderly Asian man led them to a corner table for two, and Sarah took a quick second to look around. The dining room was tiny with only about ten tables scattered throughout, but each one was filled with customers. There were no windows that she could see, so the only light illuminating the space came from the soft glow of the Chinese lanterns on the ceiling and the small, short candle that sat in the middle of the tables. The walls were painted a rich dark red, and everything else from the seats to the tapestries to the rugs had accents of deep green and vibrant gold. Then she looked back at the man sitting across from her and smiled to herself. _I wonder if he even realizes how romantic this place is…_

Benny studied the look on her face and grinned. "What?"

But Sarah just shook her head and glanced down at her menu, even as her smile widened. "Nothing."

* * *

A waitress was at their table in minutes, bringing Benny a Budweiser and Sarah a glass of Chardonnay. Sarah grinned when she caught the grimace on his face as she ordered garlic tofu with a vegetable spring roll. Then after he ordered his pork dumplings and Szechuan beef, they handed their menus to the server and were once again alone.

She took a sip of her wine, looking over the top of the rim and smiling to herself when she caught him staring. Then she placed her glass back down on the table and looked around the room once more. "You know, I've been to that dry cleaner before, and I didn't even know this place existed. How did you find it?"

Benny shrugged. "I've been coming here since I was a kid. Everyone who grew up in this neighborhood knows about Li's Chinese Restaurant."

"Well, that explains it. I guess I haven't lived here long enough to know all the hidden gems. I grew up in Stockdale Estates."

He nodded as the corners of his mouth twitched into a small grin. "That's a nice part of town. Makes a hell of a lot more sense than you living here." She watched him take another drink of his beer before a look of uncertainty crossed his face. Then he cleared his throat and met her eyes. "You said you moved here a few years ago? After getting divorced?"

Sarah nodded. It seemed like they had talked about everything the night before, but she had somehow managed not to tell him about her marriage. It wasn't something that she avoided or hated to discuss. Honestly, she just never really thought about it anymore.

She just shrugged. "I'll give you the short version. My ex, Brian, and me were high school sweethearts, and we got married the summer we graduated from college. We both got jobs working for one of the big banks downtown; he's an accountant and I was an investment analyst." She shook her head and grinned when she saw the look on Benny's face. "It sounds more impressive than it was. I stared at numbers on a computer screen all day. I hated it." Then she sighed. "For a few years, we were mostly happy I guess. We did everything we were supposed to, you know? Bought the two nice cars, and the brand new condo, and went to all the right parties and restaurants. But after a while it became very clear that we were growing apart and wanted very different things out of life. He was determined to climb the ladder and make it to the top and be the best. But I didn't care about any of that. I just wanted a home, and a family, and a husband who loved me. All the other stuff was just… _stuff_. We should have called it quits a long time before it actually ended, but it lasted for seven years before we finally signed the papers. It's been final now for almost four years."

Benny listened intently the whole time she'd spoken and then just nodded. "So what made you finally leave?"

She huffed out a breath, after all these years still in awe of how stupidly trusting she'd been. "He came clean about his affair."

Something in Benny's eyes darkened as he looked at her in surprise. "He cheated on you?"

She just rolled her eyes and nodded, a small self deprecating smile on her lips. "Yep. With his secretary, no less. He wasn't even original about it."

If she didn't know better, Sarah would have sworn rage flickered in Benny's eyes before they quickly softened back to the warm, familiar brown she was starting to adore. Then he shook his head slightly before meeting her gaze. "You're lucky to be rid of that asshole."

She just glanced down to the table and shrugged. "You don't even know him."

But when he reached across the table and took her hand, she lifted her eyes back to his. And she didn't look away for even a second as he raised that hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his lips brushing against her skin as he quietly said, "I know all I need to know. He was dumb enough to let you go."

* * *

Happy watched contentedly as Sarah leaned back in her chair, placed her hands on her stomach, and groaned. "Oh my god, that was delicious. I'm now a believer. The best food in all of Bakersfield is hidden in the back of an alley."

Hap just smirked. "Told you so."

The sweet, sincere smile she gave him almost took his breath away. "Thank you for dinner, Benny."

Happy didn't quite trust himself to speak at that moment, somehow certain that his voice would betray every single thing he was feeling for the woman sitting in front of him. So he just nodded before standing from the table.

He waited for Sarah to stand up and place her purse over her shoulder but they didn't even take a step away from the table before she turned back around. "Oh, I almost forgot. The most important part of the meal." Then she looked up at him and grinned with two fortune cookies in her hand.

He looked on in amusement as Sarah tore off the wrapper and cracked open the cookie, pulling out the thin strip of paper before popping the crunchy sweetness in her mouth. Then she chewed quickly, looked down at her fortune, and smirked. "What does it say about me that my fortunes are usually blank? I mean, how am I ever supposed to know what the world has in store for me?"

He grinned before opening his cookie and eating quickly. Then he pulled out his own fortune.

Sarah smiled. "So? What does Confucius say about you?"

Hap read the single sentence on the paper before shoving it into his pocket and shrugging his shoulders. "Mine was blank too."

Sarah let out an exaggerated sigh and then softly laughed. "I guess our destinies are still a mystery."

Happy watched Sarah for a few seconds as she made her way towards the door. Then he quickly followed her, the words he'd read on the small scrap of paper still running through his mind…

 _Happiness is right in front of you._

* * *

When they got back outside, Happy once again took Sarah's hand as they made their way down the sidewalk; only letting go of her long enough to take off his hoodie and slip it over Sarah's jean jacket when he saw the way she shivered in the night time air. Then they walked hand in hand the same way they'd come, back towards Sarah's house.

Hap memorized the feel of her small fingers bound between his own as he looked around at the neighborhood he was raised in, slowly falling into decay. "So you never said how you ended up living here."

Sarah nodded. "Oh, right. So, I let Brian have the condo in the divorce. I never really wanted to live there anyway. I quit my job, let the lease expire on my cute little sports car, and then I got hired as a secretary at a little insurance company downtown. I don't make anything close to what I did at the bank, but the pay cut was worth not being miserable every day." Then she took a breath and went on. "Anyway, I knew I had to find a cheap place, and I didn't really care where it was; just somewhere affordable where I could avoid seeing my ex husband on a daily basis. And I knew I had to find it fast, because I was sleeping on my sister's couch and we were driving each other insane." Then she laughed to herself softly and shrugged. "My mom's a realtor. So I looked at her listings, found the least expensive rental, and here I am."

Happy looked down at her questioningly. "And your mom was ok with you living in this neighborhood by yourself?"

Sarah shook her head and smiled. "No, of course not. She threw the biggest fit in the world. But I was 29 at the time. She couldn't really stop me. Besides, I kinda fell in love with the place once I saw it, and I can be a little stubborn when I put my mind to it."

"29, huh? So that makes you now…"

She looked up at him and grinned. "I'm 33. What about you?"

His eyes were looking forward as they continued down the sidewalk. "Just turned 41 in September." Then he glanced down at her and barely smiled. "I know. I'm old."

She squeezed his hand a little tighter and playfully shoved her shoulder against his arm. "No you're not."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Sarah raised her eyes up to him once more, a nervous expression on her face. "So, you asked me about my divorce. Do I get to ask you something awkward and personal now?"

There wasn't anything angry in her voice, just amusement mixed with a little bit of anxiousness. So Hap just shrugged and nodded. "Shoot."

Then Sarah nodded before taking a deep breath and averting her eyes to the ground. "I don't know if it's right for me to ask, but I just feel like I need to know…Why were you in prison?"

Hap stopped walking and hesitated a moment before turning to face her. Then he waited for her to make eye contact before he spoke. "It was a weapons charge. I was a felon and was caught with a firearm. I served 14 months."

To her credit, Sarah never looked away from him; just took a moment to process what he'd said before she nodded. "You were already a felon, so you…"

"It wasn't my first time inside. I'd already done time for an assault conviction." Happy didn't blame her for it, but the uneasiness he saw momentarily flash across Sarah's face fucking wrecked him. Then it was his turn to take a long, deep breath and sigh. "I've always been…reckless, I guess. And I've been in one kind of trouble or another since I was 13 years old. But I've never hurt anyone who didn't have it coming. And I've never hurt a woman."

Happy couldn't bring himself to look Sarah in the eye anymore, so he stared down at their hands, still joined together. _Fuck, what am I saying? How am I supposed to convince her that I'm anything more than just a fucking criminal? Shit, how am I supposed to convince myself? I can't…I can't do this._

"Sarah, I'm not a good man…"

Hap took a small step away from her and tried to release her hand, but he met her eyes once more when he felt her hand tightening around his fingers, refusing to let him go.

Her voice was soft and sweet. "Maybe you're not." But then she took a small step forward and placed a gentle hand on his chest, shook her head, and smiled. "But you're not a bad one, either."

* * *

Happy trailed just behind Sarah as she climbed the steps to her porch, watching every move she made until she turned around and leaned her back against the front door. Then she gently smiled. "I had a great time tonight. Thank you for taking me out."

He took a small step closer and, barely shaking his head, gave her the smallest of smiles in return. "Thanks for agreeing to go."

Then, just like the night before, Happy leaned forward and placed a single sweet kiss on her forehead. "I should…"

But before he had a chance to straighten back up, Sarah placed her hands on the sides of his face, guided his lips down to hers, and kissed him.

It started slow and hesitant, but as soon as she pressed her body against his, Happy was lost. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, until he could feel every breath she took with the rise and fall of her breasts. And when she laced her hands behind his neck and accidentally scraped her fingernails against his skin, he couldn't stop a short sigh from escaping. They went on like that for a while, their kiss intimate and unhurried, heat building between them with every sensation. But just as Sarah opened her mouth a little wider and brushed her tongue against his lips, Happy forced himself to pull away.

They were still catching their breath when Hap let his forehead fall against hers, both panting as Sarah's hands traveled from his neck down to the front of his t-shirt.

He could hear the need in her voice. "Do you want to come inside?"

Happy almost laughed. _Fuck, of course I do._ "Yes."

But when he stayed frozen in place, Sarah sighed. "But you're not going to, are you?

He lingered there a few more seconds before reluctantly taking a small step away from her. "No."

The moment he saw the flush in her cheeks and the desire in her eyes, Hap wished like hell he could take the word back; that he could push open the door, strip her down, and make every single fantasy he'd had about her come to life. But he knew he couldn't…at least not that night.

Happy placed a hand against her cheek and caressed her skin with his calloused thumb. "I jump in. That's what I do. I see something I want and I don't even think about it. I just take it, and I use it up, and then it's gone before I even have a chance to enjoy it or to understand what made it so fucking amazing in the first place." Then he leaned forward and placed a soft, slow kiss on her lips. "I rush everything good in my life. I'm not going to rush things with you."

He couldn't stop himself from kissing Sarah one last time before he turned away from her and stepped off the porch. "I have to go home tomorrow, but do you want to grab breakfast in the morning before I go?"

Relief coursed through his body when she bit her lip and nodded, an almost dazed look in her eyes. "Yeah, definitely."

He stood there for a little while longer, unable to look away from her, before slowly turning away and walking back towards his bike. But he stopped when her voice called out to him. "Oh, Benny wait…"

He turned back around to see her unzipping the hoodie he'd given her earlier. Then she peeled it off, tossed it down to him, and grinned. "You might want that. It probably gets kind of chilly on that thing."

Hap waited for her to unlock the front door, but just before she went inside she turned back around to face him. "Goodnight, Benny." And then she smiled, just like she'd done a dozen times since he'd met her. But it was that smile that nearly made him weak.

Because for some reason, that was the smile that made him know. That was the smile that made him certain. That was the smile that changed everything…

 _I'm falling in love with her._

 _..._

 _ **Please review**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey my beautiful readers! Remember me? Where do I even begin? It's been forever since I've posted, or written, or did anything remotely creative in my life. My head just hasn't been in the right space. But over the last few weeks, I found myself unable to stop thinking about Hap and Sarah's story, and how I wanted to give them so much more. And also how much I missed all of you!**

 **By the way, thank you to everyone who reviewed since the last chapter. I promise you, every single word has motivated me to come back to this story. I really appreciate all the support.**

 **I hate even calling this a chapter, because it's tiny. It's more just a little scene I wrote for you guys to show you that I'm still invested in this story, and to see if anyone out there still wants me to keep going. Please let me know if anyone wants another chapter, because I totally do!**

 **Oh, and also, let me know if anyone has started watching Mayans MC yet! I got caught up last night and I really like it so far. I'm already hardcore in love with Coco :)**

 **So even though it's super short, I really hope you like this, and as usual, please review!**

 **Oh! And just fyi, in my head Rachel Franklin looks just like Anna Kendrick…**

Chapter 6

Sarah was leaning against her mom's white marble counter and smiling down at her phone, when her sister Rachel elbowed her side and whispered in her ear. "Ok, spill. Who's the guy?"

Sarah quickly shoved her phone in the front pocket of her jeans and tried her damndest to look confused. "I don't know what you're talking ab…"

But Rachel cut her off, leaning even closer and lowering her voice. "Oh please. Don't bullshit me. I know that face; that smiley, glowing, rainbows shooting out of every orifice face. There's definitely a guy."

Sarah had just started to shake her head in what she knew was a pathetic denial when she was suddenly saved when her mother took the turkey out of the oven and walked passed them towards the dining room. "Come on, girls. The Franklin family Thanksgiving waits for no one. Make yourselves useful and bring the sides to the table."

Sarah immediately took a bowl in each hand and turned to follow her mom, but stopped just before she collided with Rachel, who had walked right in front of her. Rachel just grinned and shook her head. "Don't think you're getting out of this conversation, Sarah Marie. There is definitely a guy."

Sarah watched her sister walk out of the kitchen and then paused for a few minutes, trying like hell to wipe away the grin that had involuntarily fallen across her lips. And she tried. She honestly did. But standing there alone, with mashed potatoes in one hand and green bean casserole in the other, she just couldn't stop smiling.

Because her phone had just vibrated in her pocket, and she knew who the text was from. _Yeah,_ she thought _, there is definitely a guy…_

* * *

Happy leaned back in his chair and uncomfortably sighed, barely able to move from all the food Gemma had filled and refilled on his plate. The matriarch of the club had always treated Happy like she cared, but she'd been an even more constant presence since his mom died. And since this was his first Thanksgiving without his mother, Gemma had gone out of her way to remind him that he still had a family.

"You want anything else, Hap?"

Happy glanced over his shoulder at Gemma, standing behind him with a bowl full of sweet potatoes. He almost winced. "No. I'm already hurting. Thanks, though. It was great."

Gemma gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder with his free hand. Then she placed the bowl on the table and sat down in the vacant chair next to him. "How are you doing today, sweetie? I know this must be hard for you, without your mom."

Hap just shrugged, hiding his emotions in a way that had become second nature to him over the years. "I'm ok."

When she raised an eyebrow and gave him a knowing smirk, he sighed. "I'm fine, Gem. Really."

After a few moments she must have realized she wasn't going to get anymore out of him, because she simply nodded and stood from her chair, making her way towards the kitchen. But she paused after a couple of steps and turned back to face him. "Listen, Hap…"

When he turned to face her, Gemma had an uncertain expression on her face, which was very rare for Mrs. Teller-Morrow. "Over the past few weeks, I don't know what it is but you just seem...different. I know you're not one for sharing, but do you want to talk about anything?"

The same emotionless mask was still on Hap's face when he shook his head no.

Gemma waited a beat before nodding once more. "Ok. I'm just saying I'm here for you."

When Gem finally walked away, Hap knew he should take a few minutes to think about what she'd said; to come to terms with how his life was changing, how _he_ was changing, and try like hell to figure out how to keep it all from spiraling out of control.

But right then he didn't care about any of that. Because in the next moment, when his phone vibrated on the table in front of him, all Happy thought about was his gorgeous brunette in Bakersfield, and her sweet, funny texts that had been the very best part of his day.

And he was far too distracted by reading Sarah's words to notice that Gemma was still watching him from the doorway, or to realize that, as he stared down at his screen, he'd finally allowed himself to smile.

 _Please review…_


	7. Chapter 7

**Another chapter! Yay!**

 **Thanks for all the love on the last chapter, you guys. Seriously. You're all sweet, lovely, amazing people :)  
**

 **I really hope you like this one, and as always, please review!**

Chapter 7

It had been a month since the night they first met and almost two weeks since he'd seen her face. But at least Happy had heard Sarah's voice on the phone every single night since the morning he last rode away from her…

"So how was your Thanksgiving?"

Happy almost said it was fine, just like he'd told everyone all day at Gemma's, but then he remembered…he was talking to Sarah.

Hap closed his eyes and sighed. "It was…weird, I guess. I mean, everyone was great, but…" He swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head. "Every time someone touched my shoulder, or whenever I smelled the turkey, I would look up and, just for a split second, I'd expect Mom to be standing there."

Sarah's voice was soft on the other end of the line. "What was Thanksgiving with your mom like?"

Hap almost grinned. "It was always just the two of us, but she didn't care. She always made enough food to feed twenty people." His smile widened as he continued, lost in the memories. "She got her citizenship when I was a kid, and was so proud of being an American, that she felt it was her fucking civic duty or something to make every single traditional food for the holidays. So we always had a turkey and mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy; all that shit. But Mom knew I liked the Cuban food she always made better, so then she also made roast pork, and empanadas, and black beans and rice. And for dessert it was always rice pudding. It's my favorite."

Sarah laughed. "Seriously? All that for two people?"

Hap chuckled. "Most of it went in the freezer. I think we ate the same shit every night until Christmas."

"It must have been so much work though. For her to do all that herself?"

Hap nodded. "It was. But that didn't matter to her." Then he tightened his jaw and blinked his eyes, fighting for a rein on all the emotions he'd hidden so well for so long. "She knew I loved it, that it made me happy. Everything she ever did was to make me happy."

A few moments passed before Sarah spoke again. "I wish I could have been there with you today."

A rush of warmth filled his chest, because he knew in his heart that she meant it.

"So do I."

* * *

It had been three weeks, three annoying weeks, since Benny had taken her to some greasy diner for breakfast the morning after their date, before going back to Charming. But as much as Sarah hated being away from him, she loved the sound of his voice as it echoed in her ear every night before bed…

Sarah snuggled into the corner of the couch a little deeper, covered up with her blanket, and blew softly into her steaming cup of chamomile tea. "So tell me about the motorcycle club."

Benny was always so open with her whenever she asked him about anything. But for some reason he hardly ever talked about the group he rides with.

So it surprised her a little when he hesitantly answered, "What do you want to know?"

Sarah shrugged. "I don't know…What do you guys do exactly?"

A few seconds of silence passed before he spoke. "We all have Harleys and we all work together. So we ride together too."

"Where do you ride?"

"Everywhere. Most of us don't have cages…cars…so we ride all the time."

"Do you guys ever take, like, long trips together?"

"Yeah. We'll go on poker runs, charity runs, that kind of thing. Every couple months we go to Canada, or Oregon, or Arizona. Shit like that."

Sarah grinned. "Well, tell me about your friends. What are they like?"

Benny paused before speaking, a little more quietly than before. "They're more than friends. Those guys…everyone of them. They're my family. They're my brothers. I'd do anything for them."

Sarah was a little in awe, because she didn't just hear loyalty in the way he described those men. She heard devotion, complete and total devotion. "That's really beautiful, you know? That you have that. I think it's really rare to find that kind of friendship, to make that kind of bond. I envy you actually."

Benny stayed quiet as she took another sip of her tea. "So who's your best friend in the club?"

She swore she could hear Benny's smirk over the phone. "My best friend? Really? Are you in second grade?"

Sarah grinned at the playfulness in his voice. "Oh, shut up." She waited for him to stop chuckling before she continued. "I know you have one, so tell me about him. I want to know who you're closest to."

She could somehow tell he was still smiling. "His name's Kozik. We've been friends for years, since I lived in Tacoma. And you're never gonna meet him."

"Why?"

"Because he's a blond pretty boy who loves beautiful women, at least for a couple of hours at a time anyway. And if I let him around you, I'm gonna end up punching him in the face."

Sarah just laughed. "He sounds fun. I should introduce him to my sister. Rachel's gorgeous and can love em' and leave em' with the best of them. Kozik sounds like just her type of guy."

Then Benny's voice got a little lower. "So who's your type of guy, Sarah?"

As she pictured the lips that formed those words, the same lips that consumed her on her front porch not so long ago, she couldn't deny the heat that spread through her body like a slow burning flame.

"I think you know."

* * *

Today had been a fucking mess. Happy tried to calm the beating of his heart and the rage that still boiled through his blood, but nothing was helping. First there was a run in with some young asshole Mayans that ended up in a brawl. Then there was the car chase and firefight with the Aryan Brotherhood that ended up with Bobby needing stitches and Hap and Tig burying bodies out in Chigger Woods. And combining all that with Clay and Jax going at each other at church, the table all but divided, meant that Hap hadn't had one moment's fucking peace.

But unlike the other guys, Happy rarely let his frustration show. He kept it locked away and caged in, like a dangerous predator, until he could find an outlet for its escape that didn't show his hand. That's why, after days like today, he always ended up fighting and fucking.

First he went to the ring and went a couple of rounds with a hang-around looking to prove himself. But when the kid hit the mat and the fight was called, the edge hadn't even been taken off and he was nothing short of restless. So on instinct, when there was no one left to spar with, he found himself glancing around the clubhouse for Brittany, the blonde croweater he usually went to on nights when he wanted to get laid and wanted it rough.

But as soon as she made eye contact with him, Happy looked away. Because he just didn't want her. She was standing there, half naked, breasts spilling out of her corset top, biting her lip and practically begging for him. But he didn't want her. Not even a little.

He hadn't wanted anyone else for an entire month, since he looked up at Sarah that night and realized he was in love with her.

So with long, quick strides, he walked past Brittany and every other croweater and sweetbutt trying to catch his attention, going straight to his dorm. And when he got there he locked the door, peeled off his t-shirt, and unlaced his boots. Then he sat on the side of the bed and took a breath before dialing her number.

It only rang twice before she answered. "Hey, you."

And there it was. Just like that. The calm that he had been searching for. It hit him suddenly, like a wave, but instead of churning the blood in his veins, it made him still. All he needed were two words. All he needed was her voice.

Finally grounded, he took another deep breath, the beat of his heart slowing to an easy rhythm. "Hey, Sarah."

* * *

It was already dark by the time Sarah pulled into her driveway. She had worked a couple of hours later than usual, and then she'd went to the gym for the first time in ages. She hated working out, but she worried that if she didn't do something to burn off the energy coursing through her body, it would eat her alive.

It was getting harder and harder to talk to Benny every night, to hear the deep cadence of his voice and picture him lying on his bed. Especially after last night, when she could somehow hear the need in his voice every single time he said her name…

Sarah blew out a breath and rolled her eyes as she took the keys from the ignition and climbed out of the car. _The need in his voice? Get over yourself, Sarah. It's your own need that you can't hide anymore._

Over the last month, the images of Benny's tanned skin, gorgeous eyes, and toned muscles had gotten her off more times than she was proud of. But it was so much more than that. It wasn't just his touch that she craved almost constantly. It was just him. She wanted to see his face. She wanted to feel his skin. She wanted to be reminded that the guy she'd fallen so hard for was real, and not just a voice hundreds of miles away.

But she knew Benny was busy with work and his motorcycle club, so Sarah accepted that his voice was all she would get for a while.

And that was better than nothing. So Sarah walked up her front steps and reached into her purse, pulling out her phone before she'd even bothered to unlock her door.

But just seconds after dialing his number and expecting to hear the generic ringing she was used to, Sarah gasped when a different ringtone started sounding behind her.

Sarah whirled around and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was Benny, standing on her sidewalk just a few feet away.

He never took his eyes from hers as he walked straight from the sidewalk, through her grass and over her flower beds, climbing her steps two at a time until he was standing directly in front of her.

"Benny…"

She tried to smile but didn't have time to before his lips crashed down onto hers. And then he was everywhere; one large hand woven into her hair, another gripping her thigh, his hips pressed hard against her belly, his tongue making deep, slow contact with her own. His skin, his heat, his scent were all over her, and she was capable of nothing but fisting the cotton of his shirt in her hands and hoping like hell that he wouldn't stop.

She had no idea how much time had passed before Benny abruptly pulled away, just far enough to rest his forehead against her shoulder. He was still holding her close, panting, and the feel of his breath on her neck made her weak.

Sarah tried to catch her breath before speaking, but she couldn't mask the tremble in her voice. "I thought you wanted to take things slow."

Benny trailed a line of kisses against the side her neck, from the base of her shoulder to the bottom of her jaw. Then he held her even closer before whispering against her ear.

"Not anymore."

 _Please review…_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! Have I mentioned I love you? Because I freaking love you! The response to the last chapter was amazing, and so are all of you.**

 **So if you've read my other stories, you know I occasionally write some smut. If you're not into that, you won't like this chapter. But if you are into it, I really hope you like it as much as I do.**

 **Reminder: this story is rated a big, beautiful, sexy M**

 **Hope you enjoy and, as always, please review!**

Chapter 8

Sarah turned around in Benny's arms to open the door, but she struggled to get the key in the lock as strong hands grabbed her hips and held her close; his lips sealed to a spot just under her ear, his hardness becoming more and more evident against her back with each passing second. But finally, after what seemed like forever, the doorknob turned and they practically fell inside.

She instantly threw her keys and purse to the floor and turned back around, wrapping her hands around the back of Benny's head so she could once again bring his mouth to hers.

His kiss left her helpless; burning, and lost, and reeling, and helpless. She couldn't speak, could barely see. There was just sensation; the hard wood of the door as her back slammed against it, the rough feel of his denim against the skin of her belly where her shirt had ridden up, the ache that spread throughout her body as he sucked her bottom lip between his own.

"Sarah…" The sound of her name being groaned out against her ear was like a siren, screaming at her to stop wasting time. So without a word, she pulled away and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the stairs.

* * *

 _This is better._ That's the only thought that kept racing through Hap's mind. As they stepped into her bedroom and starting peeling off each other's clothes, his t-shirt thrown across the room along with the blouse he'd somehow managed to get off of her without ripping, that's what he kept repeating to himself. He'd fantasized about these exact images a million times; her breasts rising and falling against a black lace bra, her tongue making its way along the ridge of his collar bone, her hands frantically undoing the buttons and zipper of his jeans. But as watched Sarah crawl across her bed and lay her back against the covers, he realized that the fantasies never even came close. _This is so much better._

Happy grabbed a condom out of his pocket before dropping his boxers and jeans to the floor. Then he stepped closer to the bed, pulling Sarah's pants and underwear down her legs as she lifted her hips off the mattress to help him. And it was in that moment when he needed to take a breath, when he realized his hands were almost shaking.

Happy could kill a man without flinching, stab someone without trembling, shoot an enemy with a hand so steady it was like performing surgery. But watching Sarah on her bed, reaching behind her back to unfasten the clasps of her bra; the way her back slightly arched, the tension in her shoulders, the flush spreading beneath her skin. It shook him to his core. And when the straps finally slid down her arms and he gazed at her completely naked form, Hap had to clench his fists for just a split second to control the growing tremors.

He never took his eyes off of hers as he tore open the condom and wrapped it around his length, nor when he positioned himself between her open thighs. And he didn't think he was capable of waiting one more minute to be inside of her. But he stilled and held his breath as Sarah's gaze drifted away from his face and down to the art on his chest.

He closed his eyes as her fingertips drifted across his torso, not because of the feel of her touch, but because he was afraid to look at her. He was afraid of watching her face as she studied the words tattooed along his neck, the bloody blade etched on his shoulder, the symbols of his violence forever marked all over his skin. Then he closed his eyes a little tighter. _No, I'm not afraid. I'm fucking terrified. I'm terrified she'll see me. I'm terrified she'll realize what I am. I'm terrified she'll tell me to stop and she'll leave and I'll never see this woman again. I'll never get to understand why she makes me feel this way…_

But all of Hap's fears were silenced when he felt her lips brush softly against his neck, then his jaw, then his cheek, then his lips. And then he slowly opened his eyes just in time to see her barely smile before she placed her hands firmly on his ass, wrapped her legs high around his waist, and finally pulled him inside of her.

* * *

The moan that escaped her lips was uncontrollable. Benny consumed every inch of her, hitting deep while his width slid tightly against her slippery walls. There was no need for foreplay or teasing to prepare her for him. She'd been wet and ready since the moment he kissed her on the porch.

So she wasn't surprised that her first orgasm came so quickly. He was just too good. His dick was almost too big as it massaged her g-spot with every single thrust. His hands were too strong against her hips, his skin too warm against her own, his tongue too skilled as it licked her nipples. She didn't stand a chance.

So by the time Benny lifted her legs so her calves were resting against his shoulders, it only took one impossibly deep thrust for her to come.

"Benny! Oh my god…oh…" He didn't stop. She was screaming his name and every inch of her was shaking, but he rode her through it, hard and fast, until the long high started to fade. Then his movements eventually changed to mimic her breathing, slow and shallow. Just enough to ease her back to reality, but enough to keep her dangerously close to the edge she'd just fallen over.

But it wasn't the amazing rhythm he'd set that almost undid her once more. It was the look on his face that she saw when she slowly, dreamily opened her eyes again.

No one, not one other man, had ever looked at Sarah the way Benny was looking at her in that moment. His eyes were nearly black, darkened by need and the way his pupils had blown wide open. And from the tension in his hard-set jaw, it was clear that he was fighting like hell to keep from coming. But she saw a lot more than sex, and desire, and wanting. Through all that heat and desperation, she saw something quiet, and reverent, and pleading. She just didn't know what he was pleading for...

But she knew it wasn't the time to ask, not when he was still throbbing inside of her, not when she was still so, so close.

So she took just a moment to memorize his expression and lock it away in her heart before wrapping a leg around the back of his thigh, pushing firmly against his shoulder, and flipping him over so his back was pressed against the mattress.

* * *

 _I love you._ Happy had never wanted to say the words so badly as he had watching Sarah fall apart beneath him. He'd needed to say it. He'd ached to say it. But he just couldn't find a way to get the words out. Not even when she'd stared into his eyes, when he was certain she'd seen right through him, when he would have almost begged to hear those same three words escape from between her bruising lips.

But any remaining thoughts Hap had in his head were left incoherent the moment she flipped them over and sat up on top of him.

"Shit…Sarah…" Happy didn't know what exactly he'd expected her to be like in bed; maybe soft and shy, maybe sweet and a little fragile. But he'd been wrong. Sarah was strong and confident and knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. He'd been dreaming about fucking his perfect girl, but as it turned out, he was fucking his perfect woman.

"Oh, oh…fuck…" He fisted her sheets in his hands as she continued to ride him. He'd used every ounce of strength in his body to keep from coming during Sarah's orgasm. But now the sight of her grinding against him, her breasts bouncing up and down with each snap of her hips; it was just too much for him to handle.

His breathing became more rapid as her movements quickened. With his last shred of energy, he managed to watch a bead of sweat travel the length of her body; down her neck, between her tits, past her belly button until it disappeared in a tiny patch of darkened curls. That was when, unable to hold out any longer, he reached his calloused fingertips forward and mercilessly rubbed her clit; drenching his fingers as they passed against the hot, wet skin.

"Oh god, Benny! Benny, I'm coming…I'm coming…" Sarah threw her head back and squeezed her breasts as his name tumbled out of her mouth like a sob. And this time, Hap didn't even try to hold back. He just grabbed her hips and thrust quickly upwards into her pussy until he exploded, her quivering, tightening walls making him come harder and longer than he knew was even possible.

And when Happy finally opened his eyes and stared up at the woman who'd turned his whole world upside down, he reached a hand up and tangled it in her hair, pulled her gently down against his chest, and kissed her. He kissed her when she raised her hips and finally broke the connection between them, kissed her after he slid off the condom and placed it in the trash, kissed her when she laid her head on his shoulder, and kissed her again until she fell asleep.

Because it was only those kisses that kept Happy from telling Sarah just exactly how much he loved her.

 ** _Please review…_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter, and thank you for all the new follows and favorites! For some reason, I really loved writing this chapter, and I hope you guys like it as much as I do. Please review and let me know!**

Chapter 9

Sarah was cradled against Benny's side, his arm wrapped around her waist while her face was buried in the crook of his neck. And as she began to kiss his skin and rub her leg over the top of his thigh, Sarah wasn't even certain she was awake. All she was certain of was that she wanted him.

As her kisses turned into soft nips and licks Benny groaned, his voice deep and groggy. "Woman, I'm older than you. At some point you gotta let me sleep."

Sarah glanced up at him and grinned. His voice was gruff and exhausted, but she could see a tiny, playful smile ghosting across his lips. _God, those lips…_ Her breath caught momentarily as she studied them and remembered everything those soft, gorgeous lips had touched all through the night and into the early hours of the morning. _My hair, my skin, my breasts, my stomach, my ankles, my thighs, my…_ Before she even realized what she was doing, Sarah moved so that she straddled his waist, both of her hands raking down his torso as she leaned down and breathed softly against his ear.

Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Please, Benny. One more time…"

She leaned even closer until her hardened nipples rubbed blissfully against his chest, so turned on by the man beneath her that she was almost ready to beg. But it turned out she didn't have to. It only took a soft bite on his earlobe to make him flip her over onto her back and position himself between her legs.

He braced himself on one strong arm as he soaked the tip of his completely hardened cock in her slick, pulsing heat. And just before he slowly sank into her, she looked up and saw that his small smile had grown into the sexiest smirk she'd ever seen. "Let's make it two more times…"

* * *

They spent the next two days like that, tangled up together and hiding from anything outside her bed. They ordered take out, watched movies, and slept sporadically when they were just too damn spent to go another round. Then they talked about anything and everything until they were ready for each other once more. It was heaven and they never wanted the weekend to end. But when Sunday morning finally arrived, the most perfect 48 hours of both their lives drew to a close.

They were both quiet as they showered together that morning, and Hap figured they were both still in denial, refusing to believe that life had to return to the way it was two days earlier. After he dried off, Happy pulled on his jeans and t-shirt, and then sat on the bed and watched every move Sarah made as she slid on a pair of soft pink panties and a matching bra. Then she went to her closet and pulled out a simple wine colored dress and gray cardigan.

He leaned back slightly on the bed and grinned up at her as she pulled the dress on over her head. "You're really going to church now?"

Sarah briefly glanced over at him and smiled. "Yes, I'm really going to church now."

"After what we did all weekend?"

She let out a small laugh and nodded. "Yep."

Hap shook his head and smirked. "Why? To ask for forgiveness or something? You think what we did was wrong?"

"No, nothing like that."

"You know, Mom was like you. Went every fucking Sunday no matter what. I never understood why. What's the point?"

Sarah paused to think for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. "I guess I find it calming. The music, the chanting, the stained glass…it's beautiful and quiet, peaceful. It's a nice place to think." She turned towards her dresser and Hap watched as she put on a pair of silver hoops and clasped a simple silver crucifix around her neck. "I don't get caught up in the details, and I'm really not sure if that's wrong or right. It's just what works for me. I know that when I go there I'm part of something bigger than myself."

She sprayed the inside of her wrists with that perfume he had grown to love before turning back around to face him. "But mostly I go there to pray. I ask God for advice, I thank him for all the blessings in my life, and I do ask for forgiveness from time to time."

Hap shook his head. "I doubt you've ever done anything that needs forgiven."

Sarah rolled her eyes but smiled. "Everyone needs forgiven once in a while."

Then she looked down at the floor for a couple of seconds before tentatively meeting Hap's eyes once more. "Can I tell you something without you freaking out?"

Happy raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Do I seem like a guy who freaks out to you?"

Sarah just grinned and shook her head. "No, you don't." Then she laced her fingers together in front of her and took a few steps towards the bed, sitting down right beside him. But she didn't look at him as she spoke. "That night..." She swallowed and took a breath. "The night we met, when I was on the ground and he was on top of me…"

Hap clenched his hands at his sides, tamping down the rush of anger swelling inside of him at the memory.

She turned her head to face him and placed a hand on his thigh. "I prayed. I prayed so hard; that God would save me, that it would stop, that he would send someone, anyone, to protect me. And he did. He sent me you."

Happy was stunned by her words and shook his head in denial, but when he opened his mouth to tell her how wrong she was, no words would come out. He didn't know how to tell her that God wouldn't want a man like him anywhere near her.

A faint blush bloomed on Sarah's cheeks and she nervously smiled. "Don't get scared. I'm not saying God destined us to be together or anything." Happy almost interrupted her to say that's the last thing he would ever be scared of, but he didn't have time before she went on. "I'm just saying I don't think it was a coincidence that you found me that night. So I go to church, and I ask forgiveness for what you had to do for me, and I thank him for you, and I pray that he keeps you safe. That's all."

The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "You pray for me?"

He knew Sarah could hear the disbelief in his voice when she leaned over and softly kissed his cheek. "Of course I do."

Without another word, Sarah got up and walked to the door but stopped when she heard his voice behind her, just a little quieter than usual. "I don't even know if I believe in God, but I sure as hell know that I'm no one's answer to prayer."

When Sarah glanced back over her shoulder and stared into his eyes, the emotion he saw on her face nearly took his breath away. Then she barely smiled and shook her head. "You're wrong, Benny. You're the answer to mine."

 _ **Please review…**_


	10. Chapter 10

**If anyone out there is still reading this story, I just want to say thank you, and I adore you, and I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to come back.**

 **This was going to be a super long chapter, so I broke it up into two. Hopefully that means it won't take me a hundred years to post the next update since I already know exactly what I want to write. But I will tell you that this is the last chapter with only Hap and Sarah. Chapter 11 will finally bring another Son into the mix :)**

 **I honestly didn't know if I was going to continue this story, but Hap and Sarah just wouldn't let me go, and I couldn't let them go either. So I truly hope you enjoy this, and as always, please review!**

 **P.S.- Just a reminder, in my brain, Sarah's sister Rachel is played by Anna Kendrick, but you can imagine whoever you want to :)**

Chapter 10

"Yo, Hap! Grab me some candy out of the vending machine while you're out there."

Happy took the dollar bill from Donut's outstretched hand before walking outside of the motel room and shutting the door. He had been on the road for a few days now, riding from Charming to Tacoma with Juice on the first leg of a run. But now he was making his way to Canada with a few of the guys from Samtac.

And at any other point in his life, he would have loved it; the freedom of the road, the peace and the solitude, the satisfaction that came with doing anything that helped his club. But as he lit his cigarette and reached for his phone, Hap felt nothing short of miserable; just like he had for the last two weeks, since the day he rode away from Sarah's place after the best fucking weekend of his life.

Happy walked around to the side of the motel and leaned his back against the chipped, faded siding before dialing her number. Then he waited impatiently through three rings until he finally heard her voice. "Hi, you."

Hap closed his eyes and barely smiled as the sound of her voice washed over him. "Hey, Sarah. What are you doing?"

"Just putting away my Christmas decorations. It's weird. I love them so much when they're up, but as soon as December 26th rolls around, I can't wait to take them down."

Guilt, an emotion that Happy was pretty damn unfamiliar with, rolled through his stomach. He'd never given a shit about the holidays, only ever trying to make them special for his mom's sake. But he knew from their many talks that Christmas was a huge deal to Sarah, and he felt like an asshole when he had to cancel his plans to be with her that day. He had told her he had to spend the holiday with his friends, which was only partially true. He wasn't about to tell her that the One-Niners had chosen Christmas Eve to shoot up a club party, so he had spent most of Christmas day taking out his bloody revenge.

Hap grimaced at the memory, hating himself a little more every time he lied to her. "I thought you were going out tonight."

He heard her slightly sigh. "I thought about it. Rachel's parties are pretty legendary, but…I don't know. I didn't really feel like being out with a bunch of people. I wouldn't have gotten home until late, and I haven't really felt like drinking very much…"

Her voice got quiet and Hap knew everything that she was leaving unsaid; that since her attack back in October, Sarah hadn't been able to leave her house alone after dark, and that she was too scared to drink any more than a single glass of wine, because last time she got drunk she wasn't able to fight back like she'd wanted to.

Hap's mind started to drift to the fucker he killed that night, and how he wished he could do it a thousand more times, but Sarah's sweet voice pulled him back to the present. "So where are you right now?"

Happy frowned again…another half truth. He had told her he was going to Washington to visit some of his brothers, leaving out the part about delivering a shipment of guns. He shook off the unease as best he could and looked around at the mass of tall trees that surrounded the small building on all sides. "We just crossed into Canada about a hundred miles ago. Staying the night at a motel in the middle of nowhere. I think we're in a national park or something."

"Is it pretty there?"

Happy grinned as a small, quiet laugh escaped his lips. _She's the only person in the world who would ask me something like that._ But as his laughter faded, he raised his eyes to his surroundings and paused for a few moments to take everything in. The moon was full and shining, illuminating everything around him, making the giant trees and their windblown leaves look like they were bathed in silver. The sky was a sea of endless, cloudless black decorated with some of the brightest stars he'd ever seen. And other than the occasional cricket chirping somewhere in the distance, the entire night was cloaked in a blanket of silence.

Then he realized something. _I would have never noticed how beautiful it all is, if it wasn't for her._

Happy finally answered her, but by the time his words were spoken, he had closed his eyes and dismissed the world around him. In that moment, he only saw her face. "Yeah. It's really pretty."

A few seconds of peaceful quiet passed between them when the stillness was suddenly broken by all the noise filtering out of the motel rooms. People were joyously shouting, blowing on noise makers, and somewhere someone started blaring Auld Lang Syne through the speakers of an old scratchy stereo.

It was midnight on the first of January, when you're supposed to kiss the person you're meant to be with the enitre rest of the year. And even though he was hundreds of miles away from her, in that second of time, Happy wanted to kiss the woman on the other end of the line more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. "Happy New Year, Sarah."

He couldn't see it, but he knew she was out there, somewhere in Bakersfield, smiling. "Happy New Year, Benny."

* * *

A little over a week later, Sarah found herself sitting at her favorite coffee shop, nervously picking at an orange scone and wishing like hell that she had a few more minutes to rehearse exactly what she was going to say. But only a couple of seconds passed before her sister sat down across from her, crossed her arms over her chest, and raised one perfectly plucked, inquisitive eyebrow.

Rachel took a sip of her caramel mocha. "You may as well start talking, Sarah Marie. You've successfully avoided me at every opportunity since Thanksgiving, but you are so not getting out of this conversation." Then she set her drink on the table and leaned forward on her elbows, resting her chin on her hands as a sly grin crossed her face. "Spill. Now."

Sarah couldn't help but smile at her annoyingly persistent big sister. She brushed a stray piece of dark hair behind one ear and then took a sip of her earl grey tea before speaking. "His name's Benny. Benny Lowman."

"Sweet Jesus, he has a name! I thought I was going to have to beat it out of you."

Sarah reached across the table and punched Rachel in the arm, but she couldn't hide her grin. "God, you're such a drama queen."

Rachel just smiled. "So where did you two meet?"

Sarah cleared her throat and looked down with way too much interest at her scone. "Um, we met at bar."

Rachel huffed out an incredulous breath. "You? You met a guy at a bar? Sarah, you've never picked up a guy in a bar in your life. That's my area of expertise."

Sarah shrugged and hoped to god she sounded convincing. "It was just…this crazy night. I went to one of the bars in my neighborhood, alone, and ended up drinking way too much..."

Rachel's face changed quickly from amused to pissed. "Jesus Sarah, you live in one of the shittiest parts of Bakersfield! You know it's not safe to be out all by…"

"I know!" As soon as the words left Sarah's mouth she groaned inwardly to herself and sighed. She took a deep breath and this time the same words came out calmer. "I know. It was stupid, and I don't make a habit of it. But it happened, and I was trashed. Benny was there and he…he made sure I got home ok…that nothing happened to me. That's how we met."

The sisters' eyes locked for a few seconds before a look of understanding crossed Rachel's face. "Well, God knows I'm not one to judge. It's a miracle I haven't woken up hungover in a dumpster somewhere. We've all had those nights. I didn't mean to give you a hard time. Sorry. I'm a bitch."

Sarah just smiled. "No you're not."

But Rachel only laughed. "Uh, yeah. I totally am. But I accepted that long ago, and everyone still loves me." She winked at Sarah before taking another long drink of her coffee. "Ok, back to the story. Benny Lowman. Met at a bar. A gentleman who escorted your drunken ass home. Continue."

Sarah suddenly felt her entire body relax. _Alright, the lying part is over. Now I get to tell her the amazing, perfect, makes-me-so-happy-I-still-can't-believe-it's-real truth._ "Rach, he's not anyone I've ever been with…"

Sarah didn't know how long she talked to her sister about Benny, but it must have been awhile since the next time she picked up her tea it had gone completely cold. It was just so wonderful to finally talk about the most incredible man she'd ever met with Rachel, her best friend in the world. She told her about his job, his friends, and his motorcycle. She told her about how gorgeous he is; the classic tall, dark, and handsome man except with a hell of a lot more tattoos. She told her about his sweetness, how talented he is, how easy he is to talk to, and how much he loved his mother. And she told her about how even though he was one of the quietest people she'd ever met, that he could say more with just one look than most people could say in a lifetime.

When Sarah finally finished speaking, Rachel looked at her intently for a long moment before flashing her trademark mischievous smile. "That's all well and good, but how's the sex?"

Sarah hated that at 33 years old, her sister could still make her blush. But her embarrassment quickly faded as a slow smile spread across her lips. She stared down at her cup of tea and grinned. "The best I've ever had."

Rachel's squeal of excitement made both of them bust up laughing. Then Rachel sighed. "So he's great, right? He gorgeous, nice, a god in the bedroom, yes?"

Sarah chuckled and rolled her eyes at her sister, but reluctantly nodded. "Yes."

Then Rachel leaned back in her chair as her laughter slowly died down. "Then I don't get it, Sarah. Why haven't you told me about him before? Why haven't I met him? Why haven't you brought him over to meet Mom and Dad?"

Sarah and Rachel have always told each other everything, have always been each other's very best friends. So Sarah shouldn't have been so surprised to see the sliver of hurt in Rachel's eyes.

Sarah tilted her head to the side and sighed. "I'm sorry. I am, really. I should have told you about him sooner. It's just…it's all really new. We've only been seeing each other a couple of months. And just so we're clear, it will be a very long time before he meets Mom and Dad. Benny isn't really a 'meet the parents' kind of guy, and I don't want to put him through the firing squad that is Martin and Barb Franklin until absolutely necessary."

Rachel chuckled and grinned. "Understandable." Sarah just watched in amusement as Rachel reached across the table and stole the rest of her scone. Then, with her mouth completely full, Rachel asked, "So what did he get you for Christmas?"

Sarah just shrugged. "Nothing. I mean, nothing that I know of yet. I actually haven't seen him in about a month." Rachel furrowed her brow, but Sarah just shook her head. "He spent Christmas with his friends. They're really close. His mom was all the family he had, so his friends are really like brothers to him. He actually calls them all his brothers. I totally understood why he couldn't come down."

Rachel frowned. "But you did spend New Year's Eve together, right? I just assumed you had plans with your mystery guy when you bailed on my party."

Sarah sighed. "No, actually. He was in Canada that night. He and his friends take these really long motorcycle trips together sometimes, and one was that weekend, so he couldn't be here. We talked though. We talk all the time. He's so sweet on the phone..."

But Rachel interrupted her. "So where is he now?"

Sarah frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, where is he right now? You haven't seen the guy in over a month. Why isn't he sitting here with you right now instead of me?"

Sarah struggled to find her words, taken aback by the sudden shift in her sister's tone. "Rach, he has a job. He has a life. And he lives three hours north of here. I can't expect him to drop everything and…"

But Rachel just shook her head. "Ok, let me get this straight. He's super into you. You're super into him. You have this amazing connection. The sex is great. But he can't haul his ass down the highway for a few hours to come and see you?"

"Rachel, it's not like that. He's…"

"Married."

Sarah almost choked on her tea, and after a short coughing fit, took a moment to catch her breath. "Excuse me?"

Sarah didn't think it was possible, but Rachel's frown got even deeper. "He's married."

Sarah just rolled her eyes. "That's the most ridiculous fucking thing I've ever heard."

"Oh, really?" Rachel braced her forearms on the table and stared her down. "Let's go over the facts, shall we? One; he's from out of town, at least he says he is, so you've never had a chance to meet any of his friends or family."

"Rachel, this is so stupid. I can't believe you would…"

"Two; he didn't spend the holidays with his hot new girlfriend, which happened to a lot of unsuspecting women because those are days that cheating husbands traditionally spend with their oblivious wives."

"For christ's sake, you're being ridicu…"

"And three; he hasn't found a single day in the last four weeks to drive down here and see you."

"I told you! He's been busy with work!"

"You said he's a mechanic, Sarah! How fucking busy can he be? Last I checked, most mechanics don't work 16 hour shifts seven days a week."

When Rachel looked at her like she was the stupidest woman on the planet, Sarah almost lashed out. But she bit her tongue long enough to take a slow deep breath. Then she met Rachel's eyes and tried to remember that everything her idiotic, lunatic of a sister had said was coming from a place of love.

Sarah reached across the table for one of Rachel's hands and held it between her own. "Rach, listen to me. Please. I'm telling you. You don't know him. Benny's not a liar. And I know you have no reason to believe that, and you think I'm dumb and naïve, but I swear. He's a good guy. He's…he's wonderful. And I'm really happy. So can you just be happy for me without trying to pick every little thing apart? Please? For me?"

A long few seconds passed before Rachel spoke, her voice quiet and begrudgingly apologetic. "I don't think you're dumb."

Sarah gave her sister the smallest of smiles. "I love you."

Rachel sighed and gave Sarah a tiny grin of her own. "Love you too, brat."

Rachel got up from the table and grabbed her now empty cup. "I gotta head out. I have a date and I need to start getting ready."

Sarah nodded. "Ok. Have fun. And I know this is way out of character for you, but try to behave yourself."

"No promises." Rachel took a few steps away from the table, but then stopped mid-stride. A few seconds later, she turned back to look at Sarah. "Has he ever invited you to Charming to meet all of these close friends of his? To see where he lives?"

It had never really occurred to Sarah until she said it out loud. "No…he hasn't."

When Sarah looked up at Rachel's face, the only thing she saw staring back was concern.

Rachel's voice was kind but stern. "Ask him. If he's really too busy to come to Bakersfield, ask him if you can go up to his place and spend the weekend with him." Then Rachel walked over to Sarah, leaned down, and kissed the top of her head. "Because if he says no…look, maybe you're right. Maybe he isn't married. But Sarah, if he says no, this Benny guy is hiding something from you. I guarantee it."

Sarah watched her sister walk out of the coffee shop while silently telling herself all of the reasons why Rachel was completely crazy. _She's just being overprotective, as usual. She doesn't know Benny. She doesn't know what we've been through together. He would never lie to me. He's not hiding anything. He's just not one of those guys. He's not. He's just not._

But even as she repeated those words in her head, Sarah couldn't stop her hands from slightly shaking, or ignore the unease that suddenly caused her shoulders to tense.

 _ **Please review…**_


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